2005-08-03

my own life

And something I've been realizing in my own life, is that it is very
important for me to understand my relationship with God, that I
receive my value and purpose from my relationship with Him, and it is
very important for me to pursue that relationship all the time,
because otherwise I start to look for my value and purpose from other
people, and I become jealous of other people, and I start trying to be
better than other people, because if I'm not better than at least
somebody, nobody will love me. And when people say things which I
don't agree with, I get defensive, and when people don't agree with
what I say, I get defensive, because my security becomes rooted in
what they think and not my relationship with God. That is becoming
more and more obvious to me, and I feel such a need right now to
really pursue my relationship with God.

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