2006-03-21

the end... together

watch out, here comes some prose! but first, a song quote :) there is a song by the band Stars which ends with the refrain "we all come to an end, and we all end together". When I first heard this song, I was just hit with an overwhelming sensation that nobody dies alone... in fact, I almost just started crying it was such a strong sensation... and I think some actual thoughts have worked themselves out of my head finally...

nobody dies alone, because having bartered our lives for something other than itself we are emptied of ourselves and filled with everything we touch, God, the people we love, the animals we love, the things we trade our life for... I am full of God, full of Trina, full of my parents, full of Teagan, full of Substantial, full of my sister and her husband, full of Brendan and Sarah and Alina and Marc and Elise and Natalie and Deimante and Jolanta and Erika and Alesha and Bridget and Niki and Kevin and Bekah and Emily and Shawnda and Drew and Suzanne and Kendra and Cheryl and Peter and Jen and David Earl and Mindy and Renata and Jolanta and so many other people I can't even think of them all... they have traded their life for me and I for them and thus we are all filled with each other and no matter what else happens in life, we will never be alone. I think maybe the reason that it's so important that we are "pieced out" as Alina put it, is so that we have room within us for those we tame. A cedar tree takes the earth and the water and the air and everything it experiences and transmutes it into itself, yet never becomes anything other than a cedar tree... and I do the same... so to some extent, there is a blurry line where I end and you begin... because when I look in your eyes, I see familiarity.

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