celebration guns - stars

So tomorrow there will be another number
For the one who had a name
A desert wind and a perverse desire to win
History buried in shame

Are those beating drums
Celebration guns
The thunder and the laughter
The last thing they remember

And then the next day how will you know your enemy
By their colour or your fear
One by one you can cage them in your freedom
Make them all disappear

Are those beating drums
Celebration guns
The thunder and the laughter
The last thing they remember

Goodnight, sleep light, stranger

I was going to write about this song a little... but now I don't really want to :)


we have forgotten - sixpence none the richer

Dreams, inconsistent angel things.
Horses bred with star-laced wings.
But it's so hard to make them fly, fly, fly.
These wings beat the night sky 'bove the town.
One goes up and one goes down.
And so the chariot hits the ground, bound, bound.

We have forgotten (don't try to make me fly)
How it used to be (I'll stay here, I'll be fine).
How it used to be (don't go and let me down)
How it used to be (I'm starting to like this town).

When wings beat the night sky 'bove the ground,
Will I unwillingly shoot them down
With all my petty fears and doubts, down, down?

We have forgotten (am I in love with this?)
How it used to be (my constant broken ship)
How it used to be (don't go, I'll shoot you down),
How it used to be (I'm starting to like this town).


sunday morning...

this morning I'm sitting on my couch with the heat on, look at the wet outside from the rain that was falling earlier this morning, and there are nice smelling candles lit all over the living room and studio, and J.S. Bach's Cello Suites are playing and my beautiful wife is sitting on the floor looking through magazines, and we're sipping PG Tips tea with cream and sugar, and all in all, I can't think of a much better morning, especially since in just a couple hours we're going to go get fantastic coffee at the Albina Press in N Portland. thank you God for the simple pleasures in life - tea, coffee, warmth, candlelight, rain...


about God :)


surprise - jars of clay

But love won't cure the chaos
And hope won't hide the loss
And peace is not the heroine
That shouts above the cause
And love is wild for reasons
And hope though short in sight
Might be the only thing
That wakes you by surprise

money as an end...

I was just thinking about Starbucks and how they seem to be in the coffee business strictly to make money, because they make a lot of obvious decisions that reduce the quality of their product. It got me thinking in general about money as an end. I believe that if we do anything with the goal of simply making money, we immediately devalue whatever we are doing, and it begins to show in what we do. If we want to be in the coffee business simply to make money, we make decisions that lower the quality of our coffee. If we want to be a photographer just to make money, we stop taking the photos that move our souls, and start taking the pictures we hope will move everyone else's. If we want to be a musician just to make money, we don't sing the things that make us cry with sorrow or joy, we sing what others have written after doing research on what sells the most records right now. If we want to be involved in religion just to make money, we trade the value of human life for the number of people who vocalize agreement with our point of view.

Now obviously there are cases sometimes when you just have to do something in order to get money, if you have no other option, whatever.

The bigger question is... would it be possible to have a functioning society where everyone, or at least the majority, could do what really excited them and fulfilled who they were? Or maybe even - is it possible in this current American society to do what really excites you and fulfills who you are and still function within the society - if what excites you and fulfills who you are is not very capitalistic? another question - isn't it worth trying? to be able to REALLY live as opposed to just existing because it's easy to go along with the flow of society?


message boards

I have also decided that I should never ever look at online message boards anymore, as there are way too many arrogant, unthinking, unfeeling people running around and it's way too difficult to keep from becoming infuriated long enough to get to the good stuff, and then there is just more of the same people bashing their unmoving opinions against the people who are actually thinking and carefully considering things.

love - part II

Another way I think we misunderstand loving people as Christians is that we seem to think loving people is something we do instead of other things or that if we "love people" it is mutually exclusive from things like sharing the gospel, etc. What we miss is that loving people and loving God are more like the main headings under which all other action should be subheadings. Because love doesn't require some specific set of actions - just about any act can be done with love, or without. And we have to think carefully in each situation - how do I really approach this situation lovingly - and be really honest about it, because sometimes the best way to love someone is not the first thing to mind, or the easiest option, sometimes it takes a lot from us, sometimes it hurts and it makes us vulnerable and we have to go out on a ledge, not entirely sure that we won't fall off. Anyway - don't think of "loving people" as some predefined set of actions, but rather a heading under which all other action can fall.


zeros & ones - derek webb

just so everyone knows what I'm talking about later in the blog, here are the lyrics to the song:

this was real
oh this was what you’ve all come to see and feel
but i’m starting to doubt my reality
‘cause it does not last long
once the cash is gone

eventually all of this must become zeros and ones
everything, everywhere, everyone, zeros and ones

i’m in love
oh i love what i can convince you of
‘cause i’m a prophet by trade
and a salesman by blood
now i’m dying just to be
a filtered, sub-cultural version of me

eventually all of this must become zeros and ones
everything, everywhere, everyone, zeros and ones

my blood is red
dripping on a page
if i’m brave enough to cut myself
but the more it sells
it thins my blood

eventually all of this must become zeros and ones
everything, everywhere, everyone, zeros and ones

Ok, now my thoughts on the song...

the verses of the song seem to be describing life as a salesman essentially - selling your point of view or beliefs to people - living in order to convince people you are right, and/or to make money from it... and maybe in the chorus he's just saying that this kind of life leads to everything becoming both completely black and white, as well as essentially meaningless. Because when we live to convince other people we are right, we start to see all other points of view as being wrong, even though they may just be another person's different experience of the same truth - we see everything entirely in black and white, no grey areas. Because if we are salespeople, then we HAVE to see the world that way, or else we'll never sell anything. Also, if your goal in life is to sell you beliefs or point of view, people as people and things as things stop mattering except as tools to help you convince others that you are right. so everything and everyone become zeros and ones, simply materials to be used to fabricate your reality.

if anyone has thoughts about what I said or another interpretation, please leave comments. I'd love for my blogs to be more discussion oriented.


pablo casals

"Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart."

oscar wilde

"We are all of us living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."



I heard it said today that coffee is proof of a living God... does that mean that Starbucks is proof of a living devil? After all, it is pretty much the perversion and degredation of everything good in coffee.


it's about that time...

I feel like there are a lot of thoughts tumbling around in my head, and once they all kind of settle down into some kind of order and I have a chance to then kind of sort through them a bit, I'll probably write some more stuff :)