2006-04-28

quotes of the day from www.quotationspage.com

"Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering."

-R. Buckminster Fuller (1895 - 1983)

"If someone wants a sheep, then that means that he exists."

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900 - 1944), "The Little Prince"

"Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784), quoted in Boswell's Life of Johnson

I'm not worried at all - moby

all round me burdens
seem to fall
I'm not worried at all
I'm not worried at all

I don't worry
all day long

all round me burdens
seem to fall
I'm not worried at all
I'm not worried at all

just I'm not evil
I just can not see
he told me to pray
just for me

all round me burdens
seem to fall
I'm not worried at all
I'm not worried at all

the prophet - kahlil gibran

On Love

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

2006-04-27

when it's cold I'd like to die - moby

Where were you when I was lonesome?
Locked away with freezing cold
Someone flying only stolen
I can't tell this light so old

I don't want to swim the ocean
I don't want to fight the tide
I don't want to swim forever
When it's cold I'd like to die

What was that my sweet sweet nothing?
I can't hear you through the fog
If I holler let me go
If I falter let me know

I don't want to swim the ocean
I don't want to fight the tide
I don't want to swim forever
When it's cold I'd like to die

I don't want to swim forever
I don't want to fight the tide
I don't want to swim the ocean
When it's cold I'd like to die

I don't want to swim the ocean
I don't want to fight the tide

the rule of opposites - jane bailey

I believe in the rule of opposites, that the two sides of a coin are loss and greater loss, that grief dribbles out of the bottle as effortlessly as joy, and if you scoop up everything sad, your hands will discover the texture of hope.

2006-04-26

new song - new recording

there's a new recording of that song I just posted the other day:

http://web.cecs.pdx.edu/~davidf/temp/demo4.mp3

2006-04-22

another song :)

here's another little ditty I did....

http://www.cs.pdx.edu/~davidf/temp/demo4.mp3

2006-04-19

ghost of corporate future - regina spektor

A man walks out of his apartment,
It is raining, he's got no umbrella
He starts running beneath the awnings,
Trying to save his suit,
Trying to save his suit.
Trying to dry, and to dry, and to dry but no good

When he gets to the crowded subway platform,
He takes off both of his shoes
He steps right into somebody's fat loogie
And everyone who sees him says, "Ew."
Everyone who sees him says, "Ew."

But he doesn't care,
'Cause last night he got a visit from the
Ghost of Corporate Future
The ghost said, "Take off both your shoes
Whatever chances you get
Especially when they're wet."

He also said,
"Imagine you go away
On a business trip one day
And when you come back home,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan."

"And people make you nervous
You'd think the world is ending,
And everybody's features have somehow started blending
And everything is plastic,
And everyone's sarcastic,
And all your food is frozen,
It needs to be defrosted."

"You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now.
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now."

"Well maybe you should just drink a lot less coffee,
And never ever watch the ten o'clock news,
Maybe you should kiss someone nice,
Or lick a rock,
Or both."

"Maybe you should cut your own hair
'Cause that can be so funny
It doesn't cost any money
And it always grows back
Hair grows even after you're dead"

"And people are just people,
They shouldn't make you nervous.
The world is everlasting,
It's coming and it's going.
If you don't toss your plastic,
The streets won't be so plastic.
And if you kiss somebody,
Then both of you'll get practice."

"The world is everlasting
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
And take off both your shoes.
'Cause people are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.
People are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you."

The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
It's coming and it's going

2006-04-17

wind, sand and stars - antoine de saint-exupéry

In anything at all, perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

2006-04-15

death...

our beautiful fish substantial just died today :( thanks God for making such a beautiful fish and for letting him be a part of our lives. we loved him.

2006-04-14

what sarah said - death cab for cutie

And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak of the LCD took you a little farther away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds
But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said that "Love is watching someone die"

So who's going to watch you die?..

today...

I feel rather sad today... not really sure why.

2006-04-13

aggravation

I just wanted to say that I wanted to post that Derek Webb song on our church forum, but decided not to because it would only cause arguments and dissention. Which makes me really frustrated and really sad. And it makes me wonder where our hearts are as Christians... seriously. Would you rather exact punishment from someone than give grace? Not saying that consequences for actions are a bad thing, but you have to think about your heart - are you willing to look a man in the eyes and condemn him to death? When I look a person in the eyes, I see familiarity, I see the beauty of my creator and I see a soul. And that evokes my love, not my hate. And I CANNOT be apathetic about it. When I look a person in the eyes, I could NEVER just say "oh well, let him die". It would be a struggle. Even if he deserved it, it would be a struggle. I truly believe that the only way our fucked up hearts heal in life is to be shown grace, and I have received more than my share... I really understand and have seen in my life and in other lives what grace can do to heal... and what withholding of grace can do to harden. I would much rather heal.

my enemies are men like me - derek webb

i have come to give you life
and to show you how to live it
i have come to make things right
to heal their ears and show you how to forgive them

because i would rather die
i would rather die
i would rather die
than to take your life

how can i kill the ones i'm supposed to love
my enemies are men like me
i will protest the sword if it's not wielded well
my enemies are men like me

peace by way of war is like purity by way of fornication
it's like telling someone murder is wrong
and then showing them by way of execution

because i would rather die
i would rather die
i would rather die
than to take your life

how can i kill the ones i'm supposed to love
my enemies are men like me
i will protest the sword if it's not wielded well
my enemies are men like me

when justice is bought and sold just like weapons of war
the ones who always pay are the poorest of the poor

how can i kill the ones i'm supposed to love
my enemies are men like me
i will protest the sword if it's not wielded well
my enemies are men like me

2006-04-11

timing

all in God's good time...

2006-04-10

all you need is love - the beatles

Theres nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
Its easy.

Theres nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
Its easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Theres nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where youre meant to be.
Its easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

2006-04-07

bluh

I have a boredom *THIS BIG*

yahweh - U2

"take this soul, stranded in some skin and bones
take this soul and make it sing..."

2006-04-06

wind, sand and stars - antoine de saint-exupéry

It was now eleven at night. Lucas came back from the wireless and told me that the plane from Dakar would be in at midnight. All well on board. By ten minutes past midnight the mails would be transferred to my ship and I should take off for the North. I shaved carefully in a cracked mirror. From time to time, a Turkish towel hanging at my throat, I went to the door and looked at the naked sand. The night was fine but the wind was dropping. I went back again to the mirror. I was thoughtful.

A wind that has been running for months and then drops sometimes fouls the entire sky. I got into my harness, snapped my emergency lamps to my belt along with my altimeter and my pencils. I went over to Neri, who was to be my radio operator on this flight. He was shaving too. I said, "Everything all right?" For the moment everything was all right. But I heard something sizzling. It was a dragonfly knocking against the lamp. Why it was I cannot say, but I felt a twinge in my heart.

I went out of doors and looked round. The air was pure. A cliff on the edge of the airdrome stood in profile against the sky as if it were daylight. Over the desert reigned a vast silence as of a house in order. But here were a green butterfly and two dragonflies knocking against my lamp. And again I felt a dull ache which might as easily have been joy as fear but came up from the depths of me, so vague that it could scarcely be said to be there. Someone was calling to me from a great distance. Was it instinct?

Once again I went out. The wind had died down completely. The air was still cool. But I had received a warning. I guessed, I believed I could guess, what I was expecting. Was I right? Neither the sky nor the sand had made the least sign to me; but two dragonflies and a moth had spoken.

I climbed a dune and sat down face to the east. If I was right, the thing would not be long coming. What were they after here, those dragon-flies, hundreds of miles from their oases inland? Wreckage thrown up on the strand bears witness to a storm at sea. Even so did these insects declare to me that a sand-storm was on the way, a storm out of the east that had blown them out of their oases.

Solemnly, for it was fraught with danger, the east wind rose. Already its foam had touched me. I was the extreme edge lapped by the wave. Fifty feet behind me no sail would have flapped. Its flame wrapped me round once, only once, in a caress that seemed dead. But I knew, in the seconds that followed, that the Sahara was catching its breath and would send forth a second sigh. And that before three minutes had passed the air-sock of our hangar would be whipped into action. And that before ten minutes had gone by the sand would fill the air. We should shortly be taking off in this conflagration, in this return of the flames from the desert.

But that was not what excited me. What filled me with a barbaric joy was that I had understood a murmured monosyllable of this secret language, had sniffed the air and known what was coming, like one of those primitive men to whom the future is revealed in such faint rustlings; was that I had been able to read the anger of the desert in the beating wings of a dragonfly.

2006-04-05

life

hmm... now there's a middle-aged lady who sat near me, and I think was hoping for an opportunity to chat me up, as she keeps looking my direction... and "you ain't seen nothing yet" is playing... things have been better :)

life

I'm sitting in cafe delerium on a soft, squishy couch, sipping a macchiato, and the smashing pumpkins song "Today" is playing... I can't think of a much better situation.

wind, sand and stars - antoine de saint-exupéry

Only the unknown frightens men. But once a man has faced the unknown, that terror becomes the known.

2006-04-04

the wisdom of the sands - antoine de saint-exupéry

He desired to acquire. He has acquired. And has he now achieved happiness? But happiness lay in the effort of acquiring. Consider the plant that shapes a flower. Is it happy for having shaped its flower? Nay, rather, self-fulfilled; and now it has nothing to look forward to but death. First we have desire, a zest for work, and the craving for success. Then comes repose. But no man can live by that repose, which nourishes him not; for what is aimed at must not be confounded with that which nourishes. Thus a man may run the fastest, and win the race; but he cannot live on his won race. Nor another, lover of the sea, on the great storm he has bested. That storm was but a single arm-stroke in his swimming; it called for another and another stroke. And the pleasure of forming a flower, of riding out a storm, of building the temple is other than the pleasure of possessing a full-blown flower, a memory of riding out the storm, a standing temple. Vain is the hope of finding pleasure in that which one has hitherto disdained; as when the warrior hopes to find pleasure in the joys of the sedentaries. Yet, while seemingly the warrior fights to achieve that which nourishes the sedentary, he has no right to feel frustrated if, when peace comes, he is changed into a sedentary - for false is the lament of one who tells you that, like a will-o'-the-wisp, fruition eternally flees before desire. He is mistaken as to the object of desire. What you seek eternally, you say, hovers eternally just out of reach. But it is as if a tree were to lament: "I have shaped my flower and, lo, it is turning into a seed, and the seed will become a tree again, and the tree once again put forth a flower." Thus, now you have bested the storm, the storm is become repose, yet this repose is but the harbinger of another storm. This I tell you: that there is no divine grace to absolve you from the process of becoming. You fain would be; but you can be only in God's good time. He will gather you into his garner when your slow process of becoming ends and you are fully molded by your deeds; for, mark you, man is slow in coming to birth.

sixpence

today I'm listening to Sixpence None The Richer's self-titled album, and it's making me extremely happy. The sun outside is helping too. And the fact that I can't hear anything going on outside of my headphones...

2006-04-03

mmm....

mmm... sunny rain... I love when that happens

the death penalty

"The jury in the US trial of confessed al-Qaeda plotter Zacarias Moussaoui has decided he is eligible to face the death penalty when he is sentenced."

Does it make sense to you that we should demonstrate that murder is wrong by way of murder? Because it makes no fucking sense to me. I hate the death penalty.

love - sixpence none the richer

"You must be the seed. Descend into the earth.
Searching for the union of death, and then rebirth."

But I need love. It is patience, it is kindness.
I need love. It is rain after the dryness.
I need love. Sister Wisdom, help me see
It's the one thing that I need.
The only thing that I need.

"The Harvester is near. His blade is on your skin.
To plant a new beginning." Well then let the cut begin.

But I need love. It is patience, it is kindness.
I need love. It is rain after the dryness.
I need love. Sister Wisdom, help me see
It's the one thing that I need.
The only thing that I need.

morning prayer

Lord, let me find silence today
that I could hear You
and know You