today there was a really little down's syndrome girl on the bus on the way home from work. She was probably about 2 feet tall if she were standing up. I think she looked like an angel.


the law and prophets

Reading the sermon on the mount last weekend and also some other areas of the gospels and the new testament, where Christ is saying that doing unto others as you would have done to you is the fulfillment of the law and prophets, and where He says that loving God and loving your neighbor are the fulfillment of the law and prophets and Paul talking about that all commandments are summed up in the one "love your neighbor as yourself".

Here are a few thoughts about this:

we often talk about how the story of the old testament is in a way a story of us not being able to live up to the law that God set forth, that it is a contrast between God's perfection and our imperfection. Then Christ comes along and says that he is the fulfillment of the law, and that the fulfillment of the law and prophets is love. So, in this I see two things. Both that all the story of the old testament was a story contrasting God's perfect love with our imperfect, and showing how much He loves His people; and that as we LOVE more and more, and more rightly, we come closer and closer to fulfilling the law, we come closer to our desire of being godly.


floating narcissus - wan ts'u

faded narcissus, floating down the river
to tienouan... if you see there a young
girl dreaming, under a cinnamon tree that
has blossomed twice since we embraced,
tell her... I smell a fresh carnation to
remember her perfume.

picking the lotus - li po

the harvest moon is burning on the waters
of south lake. drifting alone, I lean down
to pick white lotus lilies.

fierce desire pulls me... I yearn to tell
them of my passion. alas, my boat floats
away at mercy of the moving current. my
heart looks back in sadness.

the willow leaf - chan tiu-lin

that maiden, dreaming at her window-ledge,
leaning on her soft white arms...
I do not love her for her great mansion on
the shore of the yellow river. I love her
because she has let fall, floating down
into the stream, a little willow leaf.

I do not love the east wind because it
carries to me the scent of those peach-trees
that are like snow on the mountains. I
love it because it has carried the little
willow leaf to my boat.

and the little willow leaf... I do not
love it because it reminds me that soft
spring has come again. I love it because the
dreaming maiden has picked a name on it
with her needle, and because that name is


more thoughts...

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? "And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! "Do not worry then, saying, `What will we eat?' or `What will we drink?' or `What will we wear for clothing?' "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

A number of thoughts about this:

First of all, that Björk song I just posted reminds me of this passage...

Secondly, I think that in trying to provide for ourselves (as a human race in general), we have largely ended up destroying the things that would have provided for us naturally had we just left them alone.

Thirdly, this passage makes a really important point, in that we are so often concerned with the outward things; food, clothing, shelter, our behavior, thoughts, etc... and we seldom look deeper than those things. However, as this passage says, the root problem here is that we have a broken relationship with God. Seek Him first and the rest will be added. If you first seek Him for His own sake, I think you (and I) will find that our worries about superficial things will subside, our behaviors will fall closer in line with how we would like them to be, and we will be more fulfilled. Seek what your heart really needs (reconciliation with God) and the symptoms of your broken heart will subside as your heart is healed. Maybe very slowly, but they will.

undo - björk

It's not meant to be a strife
it's not meant to be a struggle uphill

You're trying too hard
give yourself in
you're trying too hard
you're trying too hard

It's not meant to be a strife
it's not meant to be a struggle uphill
to enjoy
it's not meant to be a strife
it's not meant to be a struggle uphill

It's warmer now : lean into it
unfold in a generous way

It's not meant to be a strife
it's not meant to be a struggle uphill

I'm praying
to be
in a generous mode
the kindness kind
the kindness kind
to share me
quietly ecstatic

It's not meant to be a strife
it's not meant to be a struggle uphill


Undo : if you're bleeding
Undo : if you're sweating
Undo : if you're crying





I want to feel my emotions with the depth and intensity that it shakes me...

seen and unseen

This weekend I was reading through the sermon on the mount, and the following phrase really got me thinking:

"If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!"

This got me thinking about seen and unseen and how we get so caught up in what is seen, what is immediate, right in front of us... we sense needs in ourselves, and we reach to fill them with whatever is immediate. But those immediate things only kind of plug up the hole for a while, like stopping a leak with bubble gum - they don't actually fill the hole. What is needed is that we ask that the holes we see in ourselves be filled, that we would be given the correct thing to repair the holes, and then wait. trust.

"Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these."

We can't see ourselves what unseen things may be coming in the future, and that scares us. We like to know, to have control, to be able to paste up our wounds (if even temporarily) so that we don't hurt. And as a result, we miss what God would give us to actually fix the holes in us, rather than just patch them up for a bit.

Let go of the immediate, of the seen, of what is tangible and right in front of you. Believe in the unseen, believe what may take time and may hurt, but may be the only real solution.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry



fear indecision sometimes this
life is like if nothing rain
pine trees clouds a fish trains
buildings GOD we build life
confusion how why now later
can cannot I don't know
feelings inside darkness outside
in left right impatient can't
or maybe why I need sense
what sense? DOES clouds whip
across sky dense rain pours electricity
burns chemicals eat flesh we
kill they kill hatred fear unknown
what when who how why! this
that here there body spirit noise
anxiety cautious will won't
don't do please never yes no
hatred animosity fear LOVE



i am a prism
the white light
which pours into all
warmth, presence
strikes me, holding
and as i gently
unfold my balled fists
palms outward
i release all colors
into the world
and i KNOW
i am
and we are all