2007-10-09

in pursuit of.... something I can't define and never stays around

I was just thinking about happiness... actually I've thought about it a lot over the years, in my own thoughts and in reading I've done, and the conclusion I've come to is this: happiness can never be an end in and of itself. It can mean different things for different people, and even different things for the same person at different points in their life. Secondly, it is simply a state, and humans are inconstant, we never stay in one state long. You are sad, someone cute smiles at you on the street, now you're happy. Five minutes later you remember that you hurt someone's feelings last night, now you're sad. Then someone drives by and soaks you with a puddle. Now you're angry. You see what I mean. To attempt to always remain in a state of happiness is both impossible and, I imagine, highly frustrating, especially if you feel like you should be able to do it - and we certainly are pressured from different parts of society to at least present ourselves as always happy.

What I would propose is this: what if we became comfortable with the fact that we go through hundreds of changes in state during every day, from happy to sad to angry and back again and all kinds of combinations... and what if we were able to find creative ways to channel those emotions into healthy outlets, such as art, music, gardening, sewing, working on cars - find what you love doing, and use it as a way to express the states you go through in a day, to acknowledge them, process them, and then be able to move on to whatever is next. Also, what if we became comfortable with the fact that other people have these state changes too, and if we were able to understand that those changes have reasons and complications and that they are most often not personal or predatory, they simply are. What if we were able to see past the fleeting changes in mood and temperament and see, touch, hang on to the person who really is inside there, and doesn't change every 5 minutes.

This is hard, I know. I'm not that good at it. I'm getting better at expressing myself in healthy ways. I'm still not that good at being comfortable with other peoples' changing moods.

No comments:

Post a Comment