2008-07-04

I guess we're at that time in life...

when people we know start dying.

Trina's great grandma is dying of a severe bacterial infection of some sort, so severe that you can't touch her, and she's asked to be taken off of antibiotics and just kept on pain medication. We were going down to see her today, but Trina's mom called when we were on the way down and told us we really can't even be in the room with her much, as the infection is extremely contagious, so we decided not to go. Her great grandma was one of the sweetest and most cheerful people in the world, and did a lot raising Trina when she was little.

and I'm having one of those days when it feels like a lot of things in the world aren't right.

We're at my parents for the 4th, having barbecue. Trina is taking a bit of a nap, and we're all sitting around gabbing. Good people to be with. They are wonderful, and restful for us.

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry to hear about Trina's great grandma. I'm glad you guys are able to have a relaxing day with your family.

    Love you guys! Happy 4th of July.

    Marc & Elise

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  2. Thanks Marc, hope you guys had a good day as well.

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  3. I think a lot of people feel the same about the world being out of balance.
    I'm sorry to hear about Trina's great grandmother. It's a sad realization that the older you get the more often you have to say goodbye to those you love. Sometimes I think of the elderly people I see and how many people they have had to say goodbye to in their lives.

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  4. Yeah, as I say goodbye to people (because of death, or for other reasons), it gets me thinking that in a sense it's a useful tool for us, in that if we actually engage and process the saying goodbye, it helps us to become by degrees less clingy about this life - more open to transition - less desperate for things to remain in stasis, and I think that's a good thing. Also, if we actually engage in saying goodbye and processing our thoughts and feelings about death, it softens us and makes us more willing to engage with people around us (at least, after the grieving is done).

    I think saying goodbye to someone is lonely too, partly because you know that nobody can ever really know what that person meant to you - I mean, we can understand superficial relationships, that the person was your grandma or a good friend, and we can assume some of the general feelings you will go through, but nobody will ever know exactly what happens inside you when you think of them, you know?

    Anyway, I hope that the experience of saying goodbye to people in my life will serve to soften me and not to embitter me.

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