dreams and memories...

The Roots - The Other Side

2012-01-30T12:23:00.000-08:00

Yo, we obviously need to tone it down a bit
Running round town spending time like it’s counterfeit
Everybody catching hay fever like sinuses
Step in my arena let me show y’all who the highness is
You might say I could be doing something positive
Humble head down low and broke like promises
Soaking and broken in a joke like comics is
Not enough paper to be paying folks compliments
But when that paper got low so did my tolerance
And it ain’t no truth in a dare without the consequence
Listen if it not for these hood inventions
I'd just be another kid from the block with no intentions
On the dock of that bay serving a life sentence
Even if I’m going to hell I’m gonna make an entrance
Yeah let em know I’m getting cheese like omeletes is
But I’m the toast of the town like Thomas'
We’re all on a journey
Down the hall of memories
Don’t worry bout what you ain’t got
Leave with a little bit of dignity
Never loved what I had
Always felt like I deserved more
But when I
Make it to the other side
Make it to the other side
That’s when we’ll settle up the score
Yo, we did this in remembrance of
Faces from the past we no longer have an image of
Carrying cold blood hearts that never been for love
Brothers keep going for theirs but never get enough
World travelers that seen it all and did enough
Only to return to learn the world wasn’t big enough
Damn, how long has it been? I guess the jig is up
Now all I know is I’m about to wake this nigga up
Yeah that hindsight, 20/20, now niggas dead on the money
Trying to take something from me it’s a wrap like a mummy
Undun I am becoming and when he’s tired of running
Through the layers of the onion
He’ll probably shed a tear cause they’ll be no more fast times
Just his weak mind scrolled out like a bad sign
He never had enough and got confused when they asked why
Life is only a moment in time and it passed by
[Hook]
I’m sitting on top of the world ready to jump off
Thinking of various ways to breaking the law
Thinking that enough is enough but still I want more
Thinking of how I’m playing with fire that burned my young boy
By any means necessary, don’t give a damn
So every night I’m on a flight that never lands
Be an asshole when the shit hits the fan
Or bet your life on a bluff and a bad hand
Can’t win, can’t lose
Get 'em gassed, leave em leaking fuel
Either way the market moves
Cash rules kings, queens, prince and princess
Every night I’m crossing a line that ain’t the finish
Every thought is dark as a glass of fucking Guinness
Too far gone to come back to my senses
Now I’m on the edge of my bed making love to my meds
Every moment's like a pistol to my head
When I’m getting mine
[Hook]

Kanye West - Jesus Walks

2012-01-26T14:24:00.000-08:00

[Intro]
We at war
We at war with terrorism, racism
But most of all we at war with ourselves
[Hook]
(Jesus walks)
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus walks with me)
You know what the Midwest is? Young and restless
Where restless (niggas) might snatch your necklace
And next these (niggas) might jack your Lexus
Somebody tell these (niggas) who Kanye West is
I walk through the valley of the Chi where death is
Top floor the view alone will leave you breathless *gasps*
Try to catch it *gasps* it's kinda hard
Getting choked by detectives: yeah, yeah, now check the method
They be asking us questions, harass and arrest us
Saying "we eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast"
Huh? Y'all eat pieces of shit? What's the basis?
We ain't going nowhere but got suits and cases
A trunk full of coke rental car from Avis
My momma used to say only Jesus can save us
Well momma I know I act a fool
But I'll be gone 'til November I got packs to move I hope
[Hook]
(Jesus walks)
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus walks with me)
The only thing that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now
(Jesus walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus walks with me)
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long
To the hustlers, killers, murderers, drug dealers, even the strippers
(Jesus walks for them)
To the victims of welfare for we living in hell here, hell yeah
(Jesus walks for them)
Now, hear ye, hear ye: want to see Thee more clearly
I know he hear me when my feet get weary
Cause we're the almost nearly extinct
We rappers is role models: we rap, we don't think
I ain't here to argue about his facial features
Or here to convert atheists into believers
I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers
The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that's the way I need Jesus
So here go my single dog radio needs this
They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus
That means guns, sex, lies, videotape
But if I talk about God my record won't get played, huh?
Well if this take away from my spins
Which will probably take away from my ends
Then I hope this take away from my sins
And bring the day that I'm dreaming about
Next time I'm in the club, everybody screaming out
[Hook]
(Jesus walks)
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus walks with me)
The only thing that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now

Mos Def - Priority

2012-01-24T15:40:00.000-08:00

Top priority
Peace before everything, God before anything
Love before anything, real before everything
Home before anyplace, shoot before anything
Style and state radiate, love power slay the hate
Truth killer flaky face, players say it to they face
Ain't afraid to major straight, race at the table straight
Flow greatest like the greatest lakes
Capes all greatest states, quiet water major waves
Steer the course, make a way
And come ashore on a greater day
Home grown from the greatest grain
Full flavor in the native strain, now put that on your brainy brain
Full exposure to favorite slang
Minimal wage and major gangs
Y'all seen dog take the bait
Later night from day to day they came to play
You came to stay, get out the way
Be-otch sons buy heat rocks
Brooklyn finest, preservation to beat-box!
Front a full poison to detox
When we rock the people I respond: priority
Peace before anything, God before everything
Love before anything, real before everything
Home before anyplace, shoot before anything
Style and state radiate, love power slay the hate
Priority! Love power...

Outkast - Return of the 'G'

2012-01-23T11:18:00.000-08:00

This one is by a great Hip-hop duo, OutKast, and is talking about being pulled into violence and gang activity unwillingly, because those involved in it won't leave you be. Though you are passionate about your music and being an artist, they don't want to hear it, and would rather be 'bouncing and shooting and killing and bouncing and shit'. People with ignorant ideas. Then a notification to everyone that they're going to stick together and push back, even though this kind of thing isn't what they want to do with their lives - if it comes to them or their families being threatened, they'll have each other's back. I think this also has a more personal, metaphorical aspect to it as well - personal attacks and misunderstandings will also be shot down as needed.

[Andre 3000: Intro]
Yeah
Yeah it goes like this right here
Like uh, niggas always be hollerin 'Peace'
You know what I'm saying, "Peace my brother"
Peace this, peace that, you know what I'm saying but
Everytime I uh try to get a piece of mind
Niggas try to get a piece of mine
So I gotta grab my piece
[Dre: Verse 1]
It's the return of the gangster, thanks ta'
Them niggas that's on that blow
That run up in your crib
Which contains your lady and an 8 month old
Child to raise plus you true blue 'bout this music but
They do not want to hear it
Because they'd rather be bouncing and shooting
And killing and bouncing and shit
Get down
Return of the gangster, thanks ta'
Them niggas that think you soft
And say y'all be gospel rappin'
But they be steady clappin' when you talk about
Bitches & switches & hoes & clothes & weed
Let's talk about time travelin' rhyme javelin
Somethin' mind unravelin' get down
Return of the gangsta thanks ta'
Them niggas who got them kids
Who got enough to buy an ounce
But not enough to bounce them kids to the zoo
Or to the park so they grow up in the dark never
Seein' light so they end up being like yo' sorry ass
Robbin' niggas in broad ass daylight get down
Return of the gangsta thanks ta'
Them niggas that get the wrong impression of expression
Then the question is Big Boi what's up with Andre?
Is he in a cult? Is he on drugs? Is he gay?
When y'all gon' break up? When y'all gon' wake up?
Nigga I'm feelin' better than ever what's wrong with you
You get down!
[Big Boi]
Man a nigga don't want no trouble
A playa just want to kick back with my gators off
And watch my li'l girl blow bubbles
But still ready to rhyme
Standin' my ground never back down
Willin' to rob steal & kill any thang that threatens mine
But good luck couldn't be bought see
Many a fights had to be fought G
For a nigga to ride these Vogues
Oh so close to the sidewalk to be gawked at
Watch your side my nigga cause we got gats
The first nigga to buck gon' be the first nigga we attack
Don't want that but it comes though
Most of the time when you don't know
Stickin' together like flour and water to make that
Slow dough we worked for everything we have
And gon' stick up for each other like we
Brothers from another mother
Kinda like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover
Strictly for the Caddy lovers and never the
Nut huggin' punk motherfuckers

Social Media, Journalism, Opinion.... What Is Truth?

2012-01-20T19:32:00.000-08:00

This is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. The current state of journalism here is pretty ridiculous, and the way we communicate with each other and pass information around has also been completely changed by social media, and I think it's really changing the way we see truth. This has all given rise to sites like Snopes, which do factual research on commonly spread 'truths', and report back on whether they are likely to be true or not.

I really started thinking about this during our last presidential election, when Obama was elected. Going through the campaign process, I felt like much of the campaigns of both candidates were simply floating misinformation about the other candidates, without any basis for the truth of the information, and people just gobbled it up. So much so that McCain and Palin had people at their rallies threatening to kill Obama.

We've gotten used to receiving our information about the world in different ways as well. It started with chain emails about one thing or the other, and people would just see it, believe it, and pass it on, never stopping to wonder if it's true or not. Then Twitter happened, and now it only takes one click. You don't even have to read it first, you just have to see a title or something that you initially agree with and click. I'm guilty of having done it myself a few times.

The point is, with the rise of Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc - we've gotten used to receiving our news about the world in different ways - through what our online acquaintances are saying. Google has even added this to search results now - if you search for something on Google, and you're a member of Google+, you get results from your circles' Google+ profiles, interspersed with the normal Google search results.

Digital media has played into this as well. I was watching an interview with Talib Kweli, where he was talking about the rumors of people like Jay-Z, Kanye West, and Rihanna being involved in some kind of Illuminati group trying to take over the world, and he was talking about how most of the 'proof' given for these kind of conspiracy theories is doctored up YouTube videos, where it's obvious they've been screwed around with. But people don't know, so they buy into it.

And it seems like our actual journalism organizations are following suit - much of what is written is actually just opinion articles, but presented as real journalism (that is, researched fact, or at least stories with factual basis). These stories are presented as if the journalist knows exactly what they're talking about, and are spun around the globe via the internet, only to find out that, once again, this was just their opinion, and has nothing to do with reality.

I think this is a really important thing to reign in, as our culture can be violently swayed by small un-truths, as simply as having someone famous Tweet it. Sometimes it's not even intentional - you just get ahead of yourself and say something without basis, and it's already too late before you realize it isn't true.

Anyway, I guess the main point is, when you see something, think about it. If it seems odd, or inflammatory, or derogatory or gets you excited to go badmouth someone, check it out first, please.

New Day

2012-01-12T12:52:00.000-08:00

Just as a bit of explanation for the first verse, because I feel it makes it more potent - Kanye West has often been criticized and vilified for having a huge ego, despite, I think, being a very sensitive and caring person in reality (despite a sometimes put-on-bravado in public). He had a moment on a telethon during Hurricane Katrina, where he famously commented that George Bush didn't care about black people, and there was a major public uproar over it. You can look up more about that if you feel like it. Yeezy is one of his nicknames.

Yeah, uh
(Sun in the sky)
(You know how I feel)
Me and the RZA connect
(Breeze driftin’ on by)
Yeah, me and the RZA connect
(Breeze driftin’ on by)
(It’s a new life for me)
(For me, for me)
(Oooh, oooh)
(And I’m feelin’ good)
[Kanye West]
And I’ll never let my son have an ego
He’ll be nice to everyone, wherever we go
I mean, I might even make ‘im be Republican
So everybody know he love white people
And I’ll never let ‘im leave his college girlfriend
And get caught up with the groupies in the whirlwind
And I’ll never let ‘im ever hit the telethon
I mean even if people dyin’ and the world ends
See, I just want ‘im to have an easy life, not like Yeezy life
Just want ‘im to be someone people like
Don’t want ‘im to be hated, all the time judged
Don’t be like your daddy that would never budge
And I’ll never let ‘im ever hit a strip club
I learned the hard way, that ain’t the place to get love
And I’ll never let his mom move to L.A.
Knowin’ she couldn’t take the pressure, now we all pray
(Sun in the sky)
(You know how I feel)
(Breeze driftin’ on by)
(Breeze driftin’ on by)
(It’s a new life for me)
Me and the RZA connect
(For me, for me)
Me and the RZA connect (Oooh, oooh)
(And I’m feelin’ good)
[Jay-Z]
Sorry junior, I already ruined ya
‘Cause you ain’t even alive, paparazzi pursuin’ ya
Sins of a father make yo’ life ten times harder
I just wanna take ya to a barber
Bondin’ on charters, all the shit that I never did
Teach ya good values, so you cherish it
Took me 26 years to find my path
My only job is cuttin’ the time in half
So at 13 we’ll have our first drink together
Black bar mitzvahs, mazel tov, mogul talk
Look a man dead in his eyes
So he know you talk truth when you speak it, give your word, keep it
And if the day comes I only see him on the weekend
I just pray we was in love on the night that we conceived him
Promise to never leave him even if his mama tweakin’
Cause my dad left me and I promise never repeat him
Never repeat him, never repeat him
(Sun in the sky)
(You know how I feel)
(Breeze driftin’ on by)
(Breeze driftin’ on by)
(It’s a new life for me)
(For me, for me)
(Oooh, oooh)
(And I’m feelin’ good)
(Sun in the sky, you know how I feel)
(Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel)
(Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel)
(It’s a new life for me)
(It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day)
(It’s a new life for me)
(Oooh, oooh)
(And I’m feelin’…)
(Birds flyin’ high, you know how I feel)

The song sampled in the background is Nina Simone's Feeling Good.

On Language

2012-01-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading Jay-Z's book, "Decoded". It was a great read, very interesting and insightful. In any case, he brought up an interesting point about language in the Epilogue, quoted below:

Rap, as I said at the beginning of the book, is at heart an art form that gave voice to a specific experience, but, like every art, is ultimately about the most common human experiences: joy, pain, fear, desire, uncertainty, hope, anger, love - love of crew, love of family, even romantic love (put on "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" some time and tell me rap can't be romantic - or if you want to keep it street, put on Mary J. Blige and Method Man's "I'll Be There For You/You're All I Need To Get By"). Of course, in the end, it may not be the art form for you. Oprah, for instance, still can't get past the n-word issue (or the nigga issue, with all apologies to Ms. Winfrey). I can respect her position. To her, it's a matter of acknowledging the deep and painful history of the word. To me, it's just a word, a word whose power is owned by the user and his or her intention. People give words power, so banning a word is futile, really. "Nigga" becomes "porch monkey" becomes "coon" and so on if that's what's in a person's heart. The key is to change the person. And we change people through conversation, not through censorship. That's why I want people to understand what the words we use - and the stories we tell - are really about.

This reminded me of a section of George Orwell's "Politics and the English Language," in which he talks about the decay of the English language, specifically when it comes to political language, and how some believe that we cannot directly influence language to reshape words or redirect the usage of language back to a more reasonable place. Orwell believes, however, that language can be intentionally shaped, and makes the following statement:

"What is above all needed is to let the meaning choose the word, and not the other way around. In prose, the worst thing one can do with words is surrender to them.

What I believe he's getting at is this: he talks earlier in the paper about different ways in which the English language has decayed, and one of them is that of certain words or phrases coming to have implicit meaning through common usage, completely apart from the actual meaning of the word or phrase. We then simply use that word or phrase as a pre-packaged idea, without thinking about what we are really saying. Some of the examples of this idea which he gives are "toe the line", "the hammer and the anvil" (common usage being that the anvil takes a beating, but actually, the anvil always breaks the hammer), "swan song", and "ride roughshod over". The idea is that, in this case, you are choosing the words first, and the words then define the meaning - because the meaning is pre-fabricated and attached to those specific words. He lists cases in which authors using these pre-fabricated ideas often mix meanings and metaphors, showing they don't actually understand what they are saying, but are simply using a set phrase which is understood a certain way, apart from its actual meaning.

What he is advocating, is that you decide the meaning you want to convey first, and then choose the right words to flesh out that meaning; that you understand the idea you wish to convey and choose words for it, rather than allowing the pre-set arrangement of words to define your meaning.

So, how does that relate to Jay-Z? The most important part of the statement I quoted in relation to this is the following:

To me, it's just a word, a word whose power is owned by the user and his or her intention. People give words power, so banning a word is futile, really. "Nigga" becomes "porch monkey" becomes "coon" and so on if that's what's in a person's heart.

What I have seen in hip-hop music since getting into it is a very intentional usage of language, which is a big reason it is attractive to me. Good rappers use language in a way that suits their meaning, and sometimes even take advantage of pre-defined phrases or words that have certain cultural connotations to obscure their true meaning, forcing you to really give their lyrics some thought to work them out, or simply putting off people who aren't interested in taking the time to discover what they wanted to say. Much like poetry, in fact.

Specifically in terms of the word "nigga," Jay-Z says that they have taken a word which was hurtful, and turned it into a term of endearment. Rather than surrendering to the word, they made it their own. His comment that people give words power, that their ideas will come out using different words; that if we ban "nigga", we just get "coon" instead, speaks to the idea that we can, in fact, change language; that we can do what Orwell recommends, and find our meaning, and then choose the words which best express that meaning.

I think Orwell and Jay-Z also both offer an important challenge - to really think about the language we're exposed to. Don't just hear someone call something "communist" and assume it's malevolently oppressive, think about the context and whether the comparison even makes sense. Don't just hear someone use the word "freedom" and get warm fuzzies about whatever they're referring to - think about how they are using it, whether what they are using it to describe actually merits the word, and don't allow them to handcuff you with it by convincing you that you're really being "freed".

Language is incredibly important, and I think we all would do well to be intentional both about how we use language, and how we take it in.

Kanye West - Power

2012-01-05T11:46:00.000-08:00

These are some of the lyrics from a Remix of Kanye West's song Power, on which Jay-Z appears as well. Good stuff.

Rumble, young man, rumble
Life is a trip, so sometimes, we gon’ stumble
You gotta go through pain in order to become you
But once the world numbs you, you’ll feel like it’s only one you
Now you got the power to do anything you want to
Until you ask yourself, "Is this what it’s all come to?"
Lookin’ at life through sunglasses and a sunroof
But do you have the power to get out from up under you
Fuck all these labels, fuck what everybody wants from you
They tryna Axl Rose you, welcome to the jungle
To be continued, we on that Norman Mailer shit
In search of the truth, even if it goes through Taylor Swift
Tell her this
No one man should have all that power
Now when I walk in, everybody do the “Power” clap
Clap, clap, clap
Fresh for the club, I just took a half an hour nap
Clap, clap, clap
I seen people go crazy when the whole world in our lap
Clap, clap, clap
My socket was out the plug, now it’s time to get the power back
Clap, clap
I seen people abuse power, use power, misuse and then lose power
Power to the people at last, it’s a new hour
Now we all ain’t gon’ be American Idols
But you can least grab a camera, shoot a viral
Huh? Take the power in your own hands
I’m a grown man, doin’ my grown dance
I don’t stop until I see the end, my vision clear, bitch
I’m on my Van Gogh, I don’t hear shit
Now everything I’m rhymin’ on cause a Ramadan
Been a don, prayin’ for the families lost in the storm
Bring our troops back from Iraq, keep our troops out of Iran
So the next couple bars, I’ma drop them in Islam
They say as-salamu alaykum, say wa alaykum as-salaam
That’s no Oscar Mayer bacon, you should run and tell your moms
Now the question is, how we gon’ stop the next Vietnam?
Keep Flex out of Korea, ’cause you know he drop bombs

On Drug Addiction and Criminalization

2012-01-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

"[T]he truth is that drug addicts have a disease. It only takes a short time in the streets to realize that out-of-control addiction is a medical problem, not a form of recreational or criminal behavior. And the more society treats drug addiction as a crime, the more money drug dealers will make "relieving" the suffering of the addicts."

Fun Times

2011-12-19T12:08:00.000-08:00

Well, we had a bit of an unexpected Sunday evening. We had our friend Aron over to do our hair, and we made waffles and it was great. Aron left, and we made dinner, an awesome Thai Chicken Curry Soup, and we had cleaned up and were working on laundry.

I had put a load in the wash, and had brought part of it back, and was going to get a small load I had put in the dryer. As I was leaving the back door, I was pulling the door shut, and the glass doorknob on the back door sheared off and gashed my finger open.

In any case, we rinsed it out, put hydrogen peroxide on it, and a cotton swab on it, wrapped with a paper towel, rented a Zipcar, and drove up to Providence hospital nearby. It wasn't bleeding that badly with pressure on it, and they got us into a room pretty quickly, but we had to wait quite a while for a doctor, considering this was about 11:15pm at this point.

We passed the time by amusing ourselves with the room we were in.

We decided the drawing board should say Dr. Evil, and that after getting his lab results, his plan should be to take over the world, but Trina wouldn't write it down for him:

The little symbols on the pedals on the bed looked like they were different methods of ejection:

We finally resorted to turning the TV on, and after deciding to pass on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News, low and behold, there was The Empire Strikes Back - which we got to watch from about the time where Luke lands on Dagobah to when he leaves to go try to rescue Han, Leia and Chewbacca.

In the end, they numbed my finger, put a few stitches in, put some gauze on it, and sent me home. We got home at about 1:45am, and Trina went to get the laundry I had originally been going to get when I cut my finger. We went to bed, and that's that. An eventful Sunday evening.

Here's a little triptych to commemorate the occasion:

New Cups

2011-12-09T21:11:00.001-08:00

There is a new pottery studio that just opened up about 4 blocks away from our apartment, and last weekend and this weekend, they had a pottery sale going on, so we decided to walk over after Patrina finished work this evening.

We didn't really expect to buy anything, necessarily, but we couldn't pass up these two beautiful cups, made by Joshua Kovarik (http://jkovarikart.blogspot.com, http://kovarikpottery.etsy.com).

They will happily replace a couple of old cups that are currently in our cupboard, and we are enjoying nice, hot drinks out of them as we speak.

After the pottery show, we rode our bikes about 4 blocks more to have Phở at the Vietnamese restaurant near us, then rode about another 4 blocks to the pâtisserie to get a small dessert, and then just the few blocks home from there.

I love our neighborhood.

Politics in the U.S.

2011-12-09T11:30:00.000-08:00

Apparently Rick Perry believes that insulting and oppressing the citizens of the country he wants to be president of, while at the same time telling people that they aren't allowed to pray or celebrate Christmas is the best way to win the election.

I think he would have been better off if he had run this ad, instead:

And for a little extra fun, here's some Jon Stewart :)

New Things

2011-12-06T14:30:00.001-08:00

As we move through life, we inevitably change, grow, get bored, explore, move on to new things... I find that for myself, I love change, I get bored easily, and I love to discover new inspiration and new, exciting things. For me lately, that's been a beginning dip into the realm of hip-hop. It's been exciting to hear new sounds, find new personalities, and get into a whole part of culture that I've never really been exposed to much before.

One of the most compelling artists I've run across so far, both musically and personally, is Shawn Carter, more widely known as Jay-Z. I'm not going to go into all his story, as you can easily find that elsewhere (here, here and here are good starts), but suffice it to say, I think he's a brilliant person, not to mention an amazing artist.
Here are the lyrics to the above song (using one verse and the chorus from Alphaville's "Forever Young"):

Let’s dance in style,
Let’s dance for a while,
Heaven can wait we’re only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst,
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever,
We don’t have the power but we never say never,
Sitting in a sandpit,
Life is a short trip,
The music’s for the sad man
Forever young,
I wanna be forever young
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever and ever
Forever young I wanna be
Forever young
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever, forever
[Jay-Z Ad Lib]
May the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows, but we ain't even thinking that far, you know what I mean?
[Jay-Z]
So we livin' life like a video
When the sun is always out and you never get old
and the champagne’s always cold
and the music is always good
and the pretty girls just happen to stop by in the hood
and they hop their pretty ass up on the hood of dat pretty ass car
without a wrinkle in today
cuz there is no tomorrow
just some picture perfect day
that lasts a whole lifetime
and it never ends
cos all we have to do is hit rewind
so lets just stay in the moment, smoke some weed,
drink some wine,
reminisce talk some shit forever young is in your mind
leave a mark they can’t erase neither space nor time
so when the director yells cut,
I’ll be fine,
I’m forever young…
[chorus]
[Jay-Z]
Fear not when, fear not why,
fear not much while were alive,
life is for living not living uptight,
Until you're somewhere up in the sky,
fear not die, I’ll be alive for a million years, bye byes
Are not for legends, I’m forever young
my name shall survive
through the darkest blocks, over kitchen stoves,
over Pyrex pots, my name shall be passed down to generations while debating up in barber shops,
young slung, hung here,
Showed that a nigga from here
with a little ambition just what we can become here,
and as the father passed his story down to his sons ears,
younger get younger every year, yeah
so if you love me baby this is how you let me know.
don’t ever let me go, that's how you let me know, baby
[chorus]
[Jay-Z]
Slammin' Bentley doors,
hoppin' out of Porsches,
popping up on Forbes' list,
Gorgeous,
hold up,
niggas thought I lost it,
they be talking bullshit
I be talking more shit
they nauseous,
hold up,
I'll be here forever
you know, I’m on my four shit,
and I ain’t with foreclosure, I will never forfeit,
less than four bars,
Guru bring the chorus in,
did you get the picture yet,
I’m painting you a portrait of Young…
[Chorus]
[End]

Some thoughts: I look at this song as a progression - a progression in life and a progression in attitude, and a progression in perception. I see the first verse as being a bit tongue-in-cheek from his position - but also a realization that this kind of a picture of life is appealing, and that we all hold this kind of view, even if subconsciously, when we're young.

I think the second verse brings a lot of the meat of the song - and helps to define what his idea of living forever is. You make a difference in the world big enough that you never leave. In his case, part of that difference is to show that a poor kid from Brooklyn who grows up with a broken family, dealing crack from his teenage years can turn his life around, make something of himself, grow as a person, and ultimately be an example for other another generation of people starting out where he was.

I think the third verse has to do with people feeling like he 'sold out' because he got rich, famous, etc - but that he is still as serious about what he was serious about, that he's living in order to set an example (this is a theme throughout his music - including the name of the album this song is on - The Blueprint).

I just find this fantastic, because he has a unique place to speak to some people who really need to know that they can figure out who they are and do something with it. For that matter, most people in the world need to hear that at some point in their lives.

I think we all want to be remembered for how we changed the world, here's motivation to not slack off.

Dr. Worm

2011-08-09T22:06:00.001-07:00

The End of the World

2011-05-22T00:05:00.000-07:00

If I knew the world was ending tomorrow, I would sit on the couch cuddling my cats and go to bed with my wife as I would any other day, and thank God that I had this life. I have nothing more to ask for, and I want nothing more than this.

Living well...

2011-05-19T11:21:00.001-07:00

Regardless of your beliefs on afterlife, I'm pretty sure the best way to feel ok about dying is to live well.

Faith

2011-05-19T06:57:00.001-07:00

I think people tend to forget that in faith, by definition, there is an element of unknown. It's not faith if you "believe" in a dictionary you wrote.

Wisdom of the Sands - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

2011-05-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

This is chapter 32 from the book Wisdom of the Sands (or Citadel, in its original French).

That year died he who reigned beyond the eastern marches of my empire. Many a hard battle had I joined with him, and therewith I had come to understand that I leaned on him as on a wall. Still can I recall our meetings. A scarlet tent was pitched out in the desert, and each of us made his way into the tent, leaving his army afar - for it is not well for the men to mingle together. The crowd lives only in and for its belly. And shallow gilding flakes all too easily away. Thus warily they gazed at us, standing to their arms for prudence’ sake, and not to be beguiled by any insidious softening of their mood. For wise was my father when he said: "Forgather not with your adversary on the ground level, but in the topmost tower of his heart and soul and mind. Else, by seeking to find common ground in your tawdrier emotions, you will come to shedding blood, needlessly."

Thus, taking to heart his counsel, I went forth to meet my man, stripped of superfluities and fenced by threefold walls of solitude. We sat down on the sand, facing each other. I know not which of us two was the more powerful; but in that sanctuary of solitude, power became measure; for though our gestures shook the world, we measured them.

Sometimes we fell to speaking of the grazing grounds. "I have twenty-five thousand head of cattle dying," he would say, and add: "The rains were good in your country, I am told." But I could not suffer them to import their alien customs, and doubts that breed corruption. Those shepherds from another world - how could I admit them into my empire?

"We," I said, "have twenty-five thousand young children who must learn the prayers of their own people and not another’s; else will they grow awry."

So we had recourse to the arbitrament of war, and we were like tides flowing and ebbing, but neither gaining ground. And though each brought his full weight to bear, neither yielded; because we both were primed to the utmost, each hardening his enemy by defeat. "You have gained a victory; thereby am I grown the stronger."

Not that I misesteemed his greatness, or the hanging gardens of his capital, or the perfumes sold by his merchants, or the delicate craftsmanship of his goldsmiths, or his great dams for the storing of water. Only a small mind traffics in scorn; a mind whose truth accords no place to others’. But we who knew that different truths can coexist thought not that we were lowering ourselves by countenancing another’s truth, unpalatable though it might seem. An apple tree does not, to my knowledge, scorn the cedar, or the palm tree, or the vine; but each toughens itself to the utmost and mingles not its roots. Thus it retains its form and selfhood, a capital inestimable, which it were unbecoming to debase.

"True bartering," he was wont to say, "means the box of spikenard, or the seedling; it is the gift of golden cedar-wood that imparts the fragrance of my house to yours. Or, it may be, my war cry when it reaches you from my mountains. Or, perchance, the coming of an ambassador, if he has long been trained and shaped and tested, and he both rejects you and takes you to his heart. He rejects you on his lower levels; but on the heights where human esteem rises above hatred, he finds common ground with you. The only esteem worth having is an enemy’s; for that of friends is worthless unless it be something higher than their kind regards or the trivial emotions of the marketplace. Die for your friend if you will, but pity not yourself therefor."

Thus I would lie, were I to say I had a friend in him. Nevertheless, always we met with deep-felt joy - but here words would lead astray by reason of men’s pettiness. My joy was not for him, but for God; he was a bridge leading towards God, and our meetings were keystones of the arches. And our silences were understanding.

May God forgive me for weeping when he died! Too well I knew it, my sorrow’s flaw. Surely, I told myself, it is because I am not yet pure enough that I shed these tears. Whereas I pictured him, had I been first to die, simply walking forth into the vastness of the desert twilight and contemplating the great change that had come on our world as calmly as he watched the shadows gathering. Or as a drowning man when the world changes under the slumbrous mirror of the waters. "O Lord," would he have prayed to his God, "the day dawns and the night falls according to Thy will. But nothing has been lost of the sheaf that has been gathered up, of the epoch that has passed away. I have been..." Thus he would have gathered me into his peace ineffable. But I was not pure enough, nor as yet feign enough of things eternal. Like a woman, I still felt that vague melancholy which comes when the evening wind withers the flowers in my rose-garden. For in my roses it withers me, and I, too, die in them.

In the course of my life I had deposed statesmen, buried my captains, won women and lost them; and I had left about the world a host of vestiges of myself, as a snake leaves its sloughed-off skins. Nevertheless, as punctually as returns the sun ruling the tides of light and dark, or summer ruling the year’s fruition, even so from colloquy to colloquy, from one treaty to another, did my men-at-arms pitch that empty tent far off in the desert. And every year we repaired to it, he and I. Thus arose a hallowed custom, and ever I saw that smile of his, crinkled like old vellum, and his serenity as death drew near. And that silence which is not of man, but God’s.

But now I was alone, sole trustee of my past, with none left to bear witness to my works and days. Or to those activities which I had not deigned to unbare to my people, but which he, my neighbor in the East, had understood; all those heart searchings which never had I paraded before others but in his silence he had discerned. Those responsibilities which had all but overwhelmed me and of which none of my people had even an inkling (for it was well that they should think I gave my every whim free rein), but which he, my neighbor in the East, had weighed, never with fellow-feeling but with fine aloofness; for he judged these matters quite otherwise than I. And now behold he was sleeping in the glittering cerement of the sand, having drawn it over him as a shroud. Silence had enwrapped him, and on his lips was taking form that final smile, forlorn yet God-enkindled, of a man who is content with having bound up his sheaf, his eyes closed on their treasure.

In my discomfiture how much was due to self-esteem! Weak as I was, I ascribed high importance to the course of my destiny, though it had none at all; I rated the empire in terms of myself instead of sinking myself into the empire, and I saw my life like a long track steadily rising towards the peak I had attained.

That night, on the lonely table-land, I stood at a parting of the ways: after climbing to the heights I must now begin the long descent. For the first time I knew that I was old; all men seemed strangers, there were no familiar faces left. I felt detached from all, now that I was growing detached from myself. On that upward slope I had abandoned, one by one, my captains, my loves, my enemies, and perchance my only friend. Henceforth I was alone in a world peopled by men I knew no more.

Yet, dark as was the hour, I found strength to take up life again. "I have broken through my last husk," I told myself, "and now I shall step forth the purer. I had rated myself too high, and because I was growing soft this trial has been sent me. For I was puffing myself up with ignoble fancies; but now will I be able to enshrine him, my dead friend, for ever in his majesty, nor will I weep for him. Simply - he will have been. And the sand will seem to me the richer, since often in the vastness of this desert I have seen him smile. And for me all men’s smiles will be enriched by that one man’s smile; for I shall see in Man that secret image which no sculptor has been able to wrest forth from the stone enshrouding it. Across the unhewn block I shall discern Man’s countenance the better for having looked one man straight in the eyes.

"True, I am treading now the downward slope; but have no fear, my people. I have restored the broken link. Ill was it that I should have depended on a man. The hand which healed me and sewed up my wound is no more, but the suture remains. As I descend my mountain I pass sheep and lambs. And fondle them. I am alone in the world under God’s providence, but when I fondle lambs which open the wellsprings of the heart, I am caressing not so much these little creatures nuzzling my hand as all the weakness of mankind; and thus I return to you."

As for that other king, I have throned him in majesty; I have immortalized him in death. Every year a tent is pitched in the desert, while my people pray. My armies stand to arms, their guns are primed, my horsemen range the desert keeping watch and ward, and any intruder venturing within the precinct is beheaded. Alone, I walk forward to the tent, then lift the flap and sit down on the sand. And all is silence.

Friendship

2011-05-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.
"Please – tame me!" he said.
"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."
"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me…"
"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince?
"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me – like that – in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day…"

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."
"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

Friendship is not something to be entered into lightly. It's a long, heavy process (though it also can be very fun and exciting at the same time), and if you're serious about it, it leaves you at a place where the person or persons you have befriended are important to you, not because they give you something, but because you have given them something.

This is why it should not be entered lightly. Because at the end, you have given parts of yourself to each other, and extricating yourself from those ties is often painful and damaging, in a way that often requires grieving - even if there was no falling out between people. You cannot simply sever the ties and move on. You are responsible for the person with whom you have shared life, even if this means the responsibility of working with them to end a relationship.

That being said, we cannot live properly without connection to other human beings, and so, friendship - you could even say love (romantic or otherwise) - is an essential part of our experience here, even though it is often very difficult and painful.

"Only the children know what they are looking for," said the little prince. "They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry..."

"They are lucky," the switchman said.

Language, and our perception of things.

2011-04-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

I was just kind of mulling over something I had read from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, talking about how we tend to feel a fondness for the past, because the language that we use was created to describe what was, not what is (because how can you ever describe what is, when it's changing instantaneously and constantly becoming what was) or what will be (since that's all just speculation).

This got me thinking a lot about language and our perception of things, and how they influence each other. It's a little bit difficult to think about expounding on this, as I have a feeling it gets way into our subconscious, but here are some thoughts.

I think that language plays a huge role in how we perceive the world around us. Our language reflects not only the physical objects and environment of the past (even if it's just some moments past), but also reflects feelings, thoughts, and cultural values that were shared by the people who have come before us, sometimes hundreds and hundreds of years before we were born. Not only the words that are available to use, but the grammatical structure, the usage of words and the sounds that make up a language reflect the people who have used the language. For instance, common modern English makes heavy use of the subjunctive mood in order to soften a sentence and make it feel more "polite". The Lithuanian language also has the subjunctive mood, but it is used much less commonly, and people are more apt to just state plainly what they do or don't want, what they are doing, what they want to see happen. The English sentence "If you could stop here, that would be great" would likely appear in common use in Lithuania as "Sustokite čia," or "stop here". This is just a product of their culture, and is not considered blunt or rude there, it is just how most people use language. You can see however, how these two different paradigms of usage reflect somewhat different views of how people ought to relate to each other, and certainly growing up with one paradigm will shape how you do, in fact, relate to other people.

Our minds think concrete thoughts by way of language. This is why so much effort was put into controlling and shaping language, for instance, by Soviet Russia, to name one instance. The idea is that, if you can control the language which a person has at their disposal, you can change what they are able to concretely think, what ideas they are able to express, and in turn, how they view the world.

There is a bit of a chicken/egg issue here though. Language is clearly not a static thing. Though in some languages, modern people can still read texts from half a century ago, language is always changing, and especially now with cultures interacting like they never have before, you see Japanese for instance, which has previously been a very homogenous language and culture, starting to feature Japanese-ized versions of English words. English is now a mixture of German, French, Spanish, Dutch and who knows what else. The physical world changes, and so our language must change to describe new things, new inventions, new discoveries.

Another issue at play here is that not all of our awareness of ourselves is contained within the words we know. Clearly we feel and are aware of things we cannot express in words, but we feel compelled to, and in some cases, this results in new language, people who are creative with expression in the form of words, who change what is possible with the language they know, or invent new language to fill in what their existing language lacked. I'm not sure if this kind of thing often changes language as a whole, I suppose it depends on the circumstance. Shakespeare, for instance, I'm sure changed the course of the English language, even if slightly.

Anyway, I could probably write hundreds of pages on this if I were to look at all the social and cultural influences, globalization, mass media, the internet... which I'm not going to do on my blog (or probably elsewhere, in reality). But I find it really fascinating to think about language and the roll it plays in our lives - I think many of us take language, and the usage of language, for granted, but I do really believe that our language effects us more than we realize.

Easter

2011-04-22T12:53:00.000-07:00

If there is any single "real" meaning of Easter, it is simply a celebration of life and the fertility of the earth, the renewal of things. Looking at the linguistic etymology, it is probably the celebration of a particular ancient Germanic goddess, a Germanic form of the proto-indo-european goddess of the dawn.

But that's not that important in and of itself. Mainly what I want to say is, before you go around talking about celebrating the "real" meaning of some holiday or tradition, think about whether there really is any single "real" meaning in an objective sense, or simply the meaning that you have ascribed to it for yourself. There is no problem with ascribing your own meaning to an event or tradition, in fact, it's probably a good thing. But to then go around parading that as the "real" meaning is a bit arrogant, I feel.

One day...

2011-04-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

One day I will die;
I may be eaten
by earthworms
caught for fishing;
the snare that caught
the trout
a man will use
to feed his family.

Nothing ever really goes away.

Re-arranging

2011-04-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

Within the last few weeks, we've nearly completely re-arranged our living room, as well as making our spare room a workable craft/sewing room for Trina. It's the usual Spring mix-everything-up time :)

Sometimes you have one of those moments...

2011-04-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

...where life seems really, inexpressibly beautiful.

I had one this morning. I can't even really explain why it impacted me so much, as the circumstances viewed objectively are quite mundane.

It was another in a long string of steadily rainy, cold, gloomy spring mornings, and I was riding to work with my poncho on (which I typically don't do unless it's raining pretty hard, to give you some perspective). The traffic light crossing 12th at Irving wasn't co-operating, I couldn't get it to detect my bike, so rather than blow the light, I decided to turn right and go down through the Lloyd District to the Steel Bridge.

I was cruising across the lower deck of the bridge, just above the water, and there were two women in a crew boat on the river, gliding across the water. Somehow it just struck me as magic that they were seemingly effortlessly sitting on top of the water and pushing themselves across it, as if humans were made to do exactly that.

That's it. For whatever reason, that moment just hit me strongly with an "isn't life amazing?" feeling.

And really, it is.

Life is persistent

2011-04-10T00:07:00.000-07:00

I was asleep, but my wife got me well awake, and then fell asleep herself, and now I can't get back to sleep, so here I am. I've just been thinking lately how much I love the fact that life is persistent. This is something that has become really apparent to us from growing vegetables and things, as well as certain food projects like fermenting and culturing things. The world is just bursting at the seams with life. Life begets life, without much external effort to help it out.

It helps to balance out the strange truth that some things must needs die in order for other things to live. This helps me to be thankful for those things - I appreciate that reality, and I appreciate the life that is given to sustain my own.

Life is a strange and wonderful thing.

New Life

2011-04-06T10:52:00.000-07:00

In better news, Opal, the Jersey Cow we were getting our fresh milk from just calved today!

What a beautiful baby calf!

So, Opal should be milking again very shortly, which means more fresh milk for us!

Tricky

2011-04-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

It kills me how easily I can hurt people sometimes. How I don't always honor the trust those close to me give me. Getting closer to someone means opening up, and when you open up further to someone, you place a certain amount of trust in them, because the more you open up, the easier it is for them to hurt you. I try to be mindful of that, but I'm not always successful, and I apologize for that. Thanks to those of you that know me, and especially my dear wife, for being willing to trust me, even though I don't always deserve it. It means the world to me.

Are we defending life?

2011-04-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

"Are we defending life
When we just pick and choose
Lives acceptable to lose
And which ones to defend?"

-Derek Webb

There are so many "acceptable" casualties every day it makes my head spin. From wars to traffic to something as seemingly simple to remedy as starvation.

How is it that so many of those are made acceptable by nothing more than our desire for convenience and our ability to take what we want?

Glen Phillips - Duck and Cover

2011-04-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

Someone's in the backyard banging on the door
Daddy's gone away, he's coming back no more
His baby's curled up on a stranger's floor
Momma's thinking family dinners weren't too much to ask for

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
But getting over it, that takes the work

One way or the other we'll all need each other
Nothing's gonna turn out the way you thought it would
Friends and lovers, don't you duck and cover
Cause everything comes out the way it should

Blessed are the humble, blessed are the meek
Blessed are the hungry, blessed are the weak
Blessed are the ones on the other side
And blessed are we just for being alive

One day I stopped wanting anything at all
The heavens opened up like a waterfall
No use in worrying about when it ends
Just for now be thankful for what I get

One way or another a man's gonna suffer
Makes no difference the way you wanted it
But friends and lovers, don't you duck and cover
Cause everything comes out the way it should in the end

Seems like life is a palindrome
Cry when you die, cry when you're born
In between it's all about the ups and downs
Add them all together, they'll cancel each other out

One way or another, one way or another
You won't get what you wanted, but you'll get enough for sure
One way or another, the winter pays for the summer
Won't get what you wanted, but what you got'll be good

Someone's in the backyard banging on the door
Daddy's gone away, he's coming back no more
His baby's curled up on a stranger's floor
Momma's thinking happy endings weren't too much to ask for

Make a joyful noise...

2011-04-04T22:48:00.000-07:00

I have so much to be joyful about. I feel tentative about letting go and feeling it - there are a lot of things that could go wrong at any moment. Still, why not rejoice when there is good reason for it? So I'm working on letting myself, bit by bit. It's harder than I'd expect, but very good.

Good Music

2011-03-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

U2's album Achtung Baby! spawned two of my favorite songs by any band: One, and Love is Blindness.

Bright Eyes - Classic Cars

2011-03-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

She was a real royal lady, true patron of the arts
She said the best country singers die in the back of classic cars
So if I ever got too hungry for a suitcase or guitar
To think of them all alone in the dark
So I laid some nights beside her in a bed made for a queen
She said I kissed her different, that all the men her age were mean
Gave me anything I wanted, Oh the generosity
I took all that I could, it was free
Now the sky is a torn up denim and the clouds are just splattered paint
It's a room I'm renovating; it's a name I got to change
If I get out of California I'm going back to my home state
To tell them all that I made a mistake

And I keep looking for that blindfold faith
Lighting candles to a cynical saint
Who wants the last laugh at the fly trapped in the windowsill tape
You can go right out of your mind trying to escape
From the panicked paradox of day to day
If you can't understand something then it's best to be afraid

The whole world it loves you if you are a chic chameleon
Intersecting circles she could hang with anyone
But when conducting business she would lie about where she's from
Saying, "Life is how it is not how it was"
I learned to listen felt like I was back at school
She'd talk forever about the phases of the moon
Saying, "Everything is a cycle, you've got to let it come to you
And when it does, you will know what to do"
Without even knowing I guess I took her advice
Painted her front door it seemed a suitable goodbye
It's not that often but I think of her sometimes
Just something quaint, a couple ships in the night

And they keep moving at a glacial pace
Turning circles in a memory maze
I made a new cast of the death mask that is gonna cover my face
I had to change the combination to the safe
Hide it all behind a wall let people wait
And never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break

Everyone is a genius.

2011-03-17T14:36:00.001-07:00

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -albert einstein

John Lennon - God

2011-03-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

God is a concept
By which we measure
Our pain

I'll say it again

God is a concept
By which we measure
Our pain

I don't believe in magic,
I don't believe in I-ching,
I don't believe in bible,
I don't believe in tarot,
I don't believe in Hitler,
I don't believe in Jesus,
I don't believe in Kennedy,
I don't believe in Buddha,
I don't believe in mantra,
I don't believe in Gita,
I don't believe in yoga,
I don't believe in kings,
I don't believe in Elvis,
I don't believe in Zimmerman,
I don't believe in Beatles,
I just believe in me,

Yoko and me
And that's reality.

The dream is over,
What can I say?

The dream is over,
Yesterday
I was the dreamweaver,
But now I'm reborn

I was the walrus,
But now I'm John

And so dear friends,
You just have to carry on,
The dream is over.

I'm really relating to the overall atmosphere and idea of this song these days. From my point of view, he is saying a few things here: this world is not for "saving" - it's wasting your life spending all your time on the future, dreaming about a life to come and waiting around for someone or something to save you from who and where you are, to make things better, whether that be a religious figure, politician, celebrity. What matters is who you are, right now, this moment, and what you're going to do with that. No delusions of grandeur or assumed identities, just you, stripped to your basic self, and the life that you have. What will you do with it?

My own closet

2011-02-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

We had previously had a vanity in our bedroom that was lightly used except to hold some of Trina's jewelry and had just a few little things in the small drawers. We decided what would be more useful for us, is to expand on the small closet space we have, and replace the vanity with a wardrobe. So, I now have my own closet!

It's a 1920's or 1930's art-deco wardrobe. It is almost exactly as wide as the vanity was, and shallower, so it fits into the same space well, but provides us a more useful space to store things, and it's pretty :)

And, it was another opportunity to clean things out, assess what we really needed/wanted to keep, and then get rid of a few things, and re-arrange the others in a more useful/decorative way. It's nice being able to use some of our clothing (hats, scarves, etc) and some of Trina's jewelry as decoration, at the same time as conveniently arranging it in our room.

And now I have all my clothes in one spot, including my neckties and belts, and the wardrobe even has a small lock with a little key, that still works :)

Well, that's all for today :) Cheers!

Happy and Sad

2011-02-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure that the emotional states of being happy and sad are things which we should attempt to attain or avoid. I think, rather, we should try to attain a personal centeredness and strength which allows us to accept the emotional states of happy and sad as they come, without being swept away by them.

Attempting always to be happy, and always to avoid being sad - or vice versa - seems exceptionally unhealthy to me.

Tea, and stuff.

2011-02-11T14:15:00.000-08:00

We live in a wonderful neighborhood. It's a really weird mix of residential, industrial and commercial buildings, with some mix, of course (what were houses, now housing commercial businesses, and commercial businesses occupying what used to be industrial buildings).

In any case, in a building a few blocks away from us that was originally a bakery, a tea shop (The Jasmine Pearl) opened up back in October. They have been doing wholesale tea sales for some years, but just opened up a storefront, in which you can buy their teas, and also taste anything they sell for free.

In any case, because we love tea, and it's within about 2 minutes walking distance, we go in often on Saturday mornings, and we've kind of become friends with the owners. So, we had them over for brunch this last weekend, and had a really nice time eating and chatting. They brought peach juice and sparkling wine to go along with the crustless quiche we made :)

After eating and having some coffee, we went for a walk all around the neighborhood:

It was a really nice day, and we're glad to have gotten to know them. Good people, good shop, good tea, good all around :) Happy weekend, all!

Travels and whatnot

2011-02-07T11:54:00.000-08:00

I was just recently away on a business trip to lovely Vancouver, British Columbia - land of Tim Horton's and funny looking 2 dollar coins :)

The arrival in Vancouver started off a bit rough, but thanks to the intervention of a friend and very kind person, Nathan, everything turned out fine, and we all made it out alive.

And then I got sick :)

Anyway, my time in Vancouver was pretty full, but I did manage an afternoon/evening of one day, plus about an hour or so on another day to walk around and take photos. I have a roll of black and white film as well, that I'm picking up today, so we'll see how that turns out.

Vancouver definitely feels like a larger city than Portland - at least the main downtown part of it. Portland actually has a height limit on buildings in some parts of town, including downtown, and it contributes to a kind of nice, cozy feel that I sort of like. Vancouver's gastown feels a bit more like Portland to me - shorter buildings, more old architecture left, smaller streets.

Anyway, here is evidence I was there.

Hi, I'm still alive.

2011-01-28T15:43:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've written here, I apologize. Things got a bit crazy through the holidays, and I've been busy with other endeavors.

To give a brief update, it's now public news that my wife is leaving her job at Sock Dreams to pursue her more craft-oriented ventures, as well as possibly looking into some internships with local restaurants to try and gain some cooking experience, and then once we have some money saved up, cooking school. We are probably going to sell our car once my wife is done with work, as her need to travel outside a 1-2 mile radius regularly will pretty much disappear at that point, and I very rarely use the car anyway, and we'll use Zipcar when we absolutely need a car for something.

Photography has been occupying a lot of my non-work time lately, I've been shooting primarily film, with my dad's old Ricoh Singlex TLS camera, and a Nikon FG-20 SLR that we picked up on the cheap from an old neighbor. Here are a few examples:

Anyway, you get the idea :) I will try to get back into posting more often here, we'll see how it goes. For anyone still reading, thanks, and hopefully you'll see me again soon :)

Derek Webb - Heaven

2010-07-29T13:02:00.001-07:00

On Education

2010-05-30T12:57:00.000-07:00

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
--Aristotle

First Veggies of the Season

2010-05-17T11:30:00.000-07:00

This weekend we got some dirt to fill up our raised bed boxes, thanks to a friend for letting us dig up his side yard, and my dad for helping dig and supplying the truck to move the dirt in! That being done, we planted our first veggies of the season (not counting herbs) - 4 varieties of tomatoes (three large and one cherry), a mild yellow pepper, and a spicy thai pepper.

Here's hoping they produce well, we're hoping for some pickling and canning adventures at the end of the summer!

Life

2010-05-08T14:42:00.000-07:00

Things have been pretty run-of-the-mill around this part of the world lately. I mentioned the milk we're getting, and we've already succeeded in making crème fraîche and paneer cheese for an Indian curry we're making this week.

This morning we had my parents over for brunch and had some omelettes (with aforementioned crème fraîche), bread, cheese, prosciutto, some fresh fruit, coffee, tea, etc. They brought us some lovely flowers from their yard, and we had a really nice time.

At the moment, we're just enjoying our home, and the bright, warm sunshine pouring in the windows. The weather this spring so far has been a bit wild, but the last two or three days have been absolutely beautiful, and we're soaking it up as much as possible.

We had some amazing clouds during the day yesterday, and we ended up going out for a short bike ride at about 9.30 last night, just to get some air, it felt so nice out. Then after brunch this morning, we rode out to get some coffee and head to the store to get some plants for the moms on Trina's side of the family, not a cloud in the sky. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Milky-milk

2010-05-04T14:59:00.000-07:00

We have recently started getting fresh, raw milk from a farm about an hour south of Portland. We are part of a buying group where we get milk each week, in which each member takes a turn going down to the farm one week during a rotation, picking up everyone's milk, and then dropping it off at a single place in Portland, where the rest of the group's members pick it up that day. Milk is delivered within 24 hours of when it was milked.

This last weekend we went down to the farm, met the ladies who run it, met the two beautiful milking cows, last year's and this year's calves, got our fingers sucked on by the youngest cow, saw the milking operation, had a good chat and a nice walk around the farm, and we're now even more excited to be supporting them, and getting their delicious milk. Coming to our home in the near future - cow's milk feta, yogurt, crème fraîche, and paneer.

Travel Kit

2010-03-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

Trina just got me this fantastic little 1950's German travel kit. It's in a leather case, and includes tweezers, scissors, a nail file, a shoe horn, a small razor, a small shaving brush, a shaving mirror, two small canisters (one of which the shaving brush goes in), a comb, a soap dish, a toothbrush holder, and a clothes brush. I can't wait to have an excuse to use it :) Here are some photos:

Social Justice

2010-03-10T13:07:00.000-08:00

Recently Glenn Beck made a statement on his show that if one's church should support the idea of social justice, one should run screaming from said church, as social justice is just a "code word" for fascism or communism (even flashing a swastika and hammer and sickle).

I wonder what Beck thinks about the fact that Christ told us that our treatment of the poor, abused, disenfranchised reflects our view of God? That when we treat someone kindly, we have done the same to Christ himself? When we fight for people who are abused and ignored by society, are we fighting for totalitarianism, or in fact, freedom? If it follows that in giving a cup of cold water to a person in need of it, we give to Christ himself - doesn't it also follow that if we ignore the person in need of water, we are ignoring Christ himself? If we simply shrug and say "oh well". If we don't look more deeply into why the person is in need in the first place and examine if there is anything that can be done about it...

I've written it before, that America is the land of the free - as long as you have money, status and possessions, you can do whatever you want. Ask anyone who doesn't fit into those categories, however, and it starts to look a lot more restrictive.

I do not believe that fighting for the rights of those people considered as "outsiders" in society, who have trouble even eating or getting any kind of care when they are sick is impinging on anyone's rights, as I don't believe anyone has an innate right to anything more than any other person. However, apparently Mr. Beck feels that encouraging people to put another person's basic human needs and rights before their own desire to massively accumulate wealth and possessions and to garner power and influence is just another way of spelling out communism, and is a violation of our personal liberties.

I sincerely hope that he simply doesn't understand the idea of social justice (though I have my doubts).

On Enjoyment

2010-03-10T12:10:00.000-08:00

I'm convinced that enjoying life to the fullest and loving God deeply and dutifully are rather parallel endeavors than at odds with each other.

With every day of life, I become more grateful to God, who has given my life such depth and richness - not in money or possessions (though we aren't lacking for anything necessary, and have some room for giving and for un-necessary things), but in friendship, love, purpose, fulfillment.

I can't imagine a better life than the one I have.

Amsterdams for sale

2010-01-16T22:42:00.001-08:00

If anyone in the Portland area is interested, we are selling our Electra Amsterdams. They have served us well, but we've decided it's time to move on, and we would love them to go to someone who will use them well. If you're interested, shoot me an email. Cheers!

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/bik/1556501742.html

Hooray!

2010-01-04T13:47:00.000-08:00

Excited to have these coming in the mails :)

Hope you all had a good holiday season, and hopefully I'll be back with something more interesting to post before too long. Cheers!

Do your actions damn you?

2009-11-03T13:00:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about this question a lot in relation to Christianity, and a number of thoughts have come up, so I thought I would share them here. I think this question has deep implications into the culture of organized Christianity and how it is often run.

First of all, I believe that looking at the Bible, as I understand it, salvation is not a matter of behavior, but rather, the condition and direction of the heart (obviously referring to the part of you that some would call your soul or spirit, not your actual, physical heart), which is turned towards God by God himself. You might say, "but behavior follows the heart." To which I would say, "when is the last time you did something you felt honestly bad for afterward?" Probably not that long ago. So yes, while the heart may give a general direction to our behavior, we are certainly far from always following through with what we believe to be true. Also, whether or not behavior follows the heart, there is still a difference between saying salvation rests on your behavior, as opposed to the condition and direction of your heart.

I see this being twisted a lot in the organized religion of Christianity, both in history and currently, so that while we would say "salvation is by faith apart from works", we act as though it is all about our behavior. Our churches become behavior modification classes, we make people afraid of wrong behavior and try to scare and manipulate them into right behavior. Often times, there is little or no attention given to the underlying issues which may be causing one or another behavior, there is little thought about why a particular behavior is wrong, other than that someone who is up on the stage has interpreted it that way. We are made absolutely certain that if we engage in certain behaviors, something horrible will happen, that our salvation is in danger, but if we stop engaging in those behaviors, everything will be ok again.

Here are two big reasons why I feel this is extremely harmful, both to the actual faith of Christianity (that is, the individual faith, apart from the organized religion), and simply to those people who are a part of it, as human beings.

1.) Under a system where our sense of security and salvation is based on our behavior, there is really no relationship with God (or at least, there doesn't need to be). There is also no knowledge of or understanding of Grace and what it means and how it effects us. It is much simpler for us to try to follow rules than to have a successful relationship with someone, as many of us can attest, from having had some difficult relationships in life. A person could, in this system, live his/her entire life simply checking off a to-do list, and honestly believing they know God. They could live an entire life never experiencing the source of the love, care and grace that they tell people about. I think that is horrific.

2.) Under a system where any deviation of behavior leads to eternal damnation, there is incredible motivation to get in line with the official set of rules, and very little motivation to question whether those rules are valid, where they come from, and what their purpose is. The people in charge realize this, and they capitalize on it, as well as just make mistaken judgments which then become part of this orthodoxy. Before you know it, you are terrified of doing or thinking certain things, and you don't even really know why, other than that you somehow know they are wrong. Also, before you know it, you feel compelled to do or think certain things, and you don't really know why, other than that you somehow know they are right. Under this system, even if some of the rules and actions you are pressured into are really right and good, you will never know why, and will only be doing them out of fear of doing the wrong things.

To me, this seems absolutely set against what the Bible teaches - the truth will set you free, not subject you to a mindless system of laws meant to scare you into behaving properly.

This is not to say that all behavior is ok. Just as Paul says in Romans, we don't do the things we want, and we are always doing what we don't want - that is, we know what is right and wrong, but our actions don't always follow what we know. But he separates this from salvation, saying that in Christ, we have died to the law and are now no longer bound by it. That is, our salvation is not bound to the law, and therefore also not bound to our behavior.

Further musings on dichotomies... briefly

2009-10-29T15:37:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that if you don't absolutely agree with someone, they often tend to assume you absolutely disagree? Why is that?

note - this is not in reference to the comments on the previous post at all, just general thoughts.

What love isn't....

2009-10-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

I just want to make it clear that there has never been a definition of love that includes "makes a point of changing other peoples' behavior". That's part of the definition of fear.

Thanks.

Right or wrong...?

2009-10-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

It is often necessary to admit that you are wrong in order to love someone, especially when you feel absolutely certain you are right.

Moby - Study War

2009-10-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

A song from Moby's new album Wait For Me.

Finally brethren, after a while
The battle will be over
For that day when we shall lay down our burden
And study war no more

Dichotomy

2009-10-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of dichotomy, and how it's promoted and ingrained into our society until many people literally cannot think in any other terms but black and white, left or right, liberal or conservative, republican or democrat, christian or secular, whatever the two opposing viewpoints are.

It's almost as if our country runs entirely on the fuel of dichotomy and staged battles against groups of people on either side of certain issues. It seems that we've done this for so long, and with such fervor, that many people are now completely unaware of this fact, and are completely incapable of thinking about life in any way other than in dichotomies.

Here's how it goes: if you're a republican, anyone who doesn't agree with the republican 'agenda' is obviously a democrat, or at least a 'liberal'. If you are a democrat, anyone who doesn't agree with the democrat 'agenda' is obviously a republican, or at least a 'conservative'. If you're a Christian, anyone who doesn't agree with your accepted Christian agenda is a liberal, secular, and is probably trying to take away all your rights, and if you're not a Christian, the Christians are probably all trying to bang your door down to tell you how evil you are.

Obviously this is a generalization, as not everyone behaves this way - but this kind of behavior has become so rampant that I feel like it's the majority rather than the minority who are entangled in this mess.

Here's why I feel this is damaging. Life is just not this simple. You cannot simply group and categorize people by these labels, ascribe a set of beliefs to them, and then just make all kinds of wildly radical statements about what they do or don't believe, what their agenda is, how they're trying to ruin everyone in your own category, etc. All this tends to do is alienate people, make them feel misunderstood, and want to lash back. It certainly doesn't help solve anything, except maybe for easing your conscience by allowing you to dismiss huge groups of people as irrelevant.

Another reason this is damaging - if you get used to thinking about life in these categories and labels, you cease to be able to comprehend something that doesn't itself claim a label. For instance, in the U.S. right now, it's difficult for many people to understand a person who rides a bicycle for transportation as just a regular person who happens to use a bicycle instead of a car to get around. Mostly, they are just labeled "cyclist" - which carries with it all kinds of sports baggage, bad traffic behavior baggage, funny clothing baggage, and a tangible sense of "other-ness." To give another example, people often refer to 'liberals' as people who completely follow the American democrat agenda, believe in huge government with lots of spending, limitation of individual human rights, agreement with any philosophical view that comes along, wish-washy and of course, out to undermine anyone who comes up against them. If you think though, about the people who would usually be grouped into that category "liberal" - there are so many different viewpoints and beliefs and ideologies that there is no way you could generalize and say that everyone in that group is the same - and in fact, many of the viewpoints expressed by those in that group would be quite similar to viewpoints expressed by people in the group who would label them as "liberal".

Dichotomies are a great way to promote enmity, strife, and hatred. They do several things - they give you a sense of belonging by dumping you in a box with other people; they give you a sense of working against something - that is, the people in the other boxes; and they give you an easy way to not really think about the people you're fighting against in any concrete terms, but simply as an object with a label. It's exactly the kind of mindset you see surface on a mass level during war time - 'we' group together as 'us', and label 'them' as 'them' with all of the obviously negative connotations that we can attach to them, and then it's easy to just say "we have to eradicate them, because they represent everything that is opposite of what we represent." We did it with Germany, we did it with Russia (and likewise, they did it to us) - because if you can portray the 'other' as being obviously opposed to the 'we', then you have a good reason to promote war. In reality, our societies, and especially the people in those societies, are not all that different, but we have to make them so in order to justify eradicating them.

In the same way, the people in the groups of 'liberals' and 'conservatives' or 'christians' and 'secular' or 'democrats' and 'republicans' are not that different either, and the people in each group display a wide range of beliefs, opinions, viewpoints - if you actually get down to looking at them. But while we're all wrapped up in these little ideological wars all over the place between groups of people that don't really even exist in any kind of concrete way, we cease thinking about or doing anything that really matters.

A good quote

2009-10-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

"To exchange one orthodoxy for another is not necessarily an advance. The enemy is the gramophone mind, whether or not one agrees with the record that is being played at the moment." --George Orwell

In other words, simply changing the fashionable or widely accepted opinion or view on something doesn't necessarily mean you're making progress, if it was accomplished simply because the majority regurgitates whatever ideas are fed them. The danger is exactly that mindset, the unthinking acceptance or rejection of things. As long as that persists, there's no telling what might happen.

I love Big Brother... er... I mean Christ.

2009-10-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

I just saw that the lovely folks who came up with the idea to do Conservapedia have now decided to do a conservative "translation" of the Bible.

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:

Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias.
Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity.
Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[2].
Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[3] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[4] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census.
Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning.
Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story.
Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels.
Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities.

In reading through these items, I can't help but be reminded of the principles of Newspeak set up in the book Nineteen Eighty-Four, by George Orwell (go take a look at the article if you don't know anything about the book).

Let's consider them here:

"The basic idea behind Newspeak is to remove all shades of meaning from language, leaving simple dichotomies."

"The underlying theory of Newspeak is that if something can't be said, then it can't be thought."

In the book, the Party has invented a language called Newspeak, the aim of which is to reduce vocabulary to the point that nothing substantial that is opposed to the views of the Party could be expressed in language, and therefore could not be thought in any concrete manner by people who only spoke Newspeak. In the book, the Party combs through all existing literature, translating it thought by thought into Newspeak (since literal translation is impossible, they instead translate the original idea into one that fits within Newspeak), so that nothing can be read by the citizens which contradicts the views of the Party. This also has the effect of creating only strict dichotomies between things. If something is not in line with the Party, it is directly opposed. This is the only way of understanding things, and it is a great way of creating fear, tension, and setting up "us vs. them" situations with anyone it becomes convenient to alienate. After all, a common enemy unites, right?

Now, let's go back to the stated goals of this conservative Bible translation:

"Providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias."

Translate thought by thought into a language that allows room for one ideology.

"Using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[3] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".

Create new words and remove others until the language only expresses ideas which fit a single ideology.

"Explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning."

Writing your own interpretation into the text, so that only one meaning can be interpreted by the reader.

"Excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story."

If a passage cannot support our ideology, we will remove it.

"Preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities."

Reduce the vocabulary of the language and remove possible ambiguities so that only one meaning could be understood by the reader.

In general, this just got me thinking that if being conservative means stifling thought, dumbing down and restricting expression, and associating God with a political party and agenda, I'm happy to not be conservative.

I love farmers' markets

2009-09-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, they just opened a new Farmers' market near us in the Irvington neighborhood, so we decided to go check it out this weekend. It was a fairly small one, but had a really good selection.

We made quite a haul - a dozen farm-fresh eggs; we got a japanese eggplant, green beans, a yellow onion, and fresh sliced pork for a miso stir fry; we got some gorgeous beets, a purple pepper, green onion and ground pork for a borscht soup; we got some huge radishes to make radish sandwiches; we got some handmade tamales to have for a lunch or dinner this week, and we got a huge bunch of dahlias to decorate the apartment.

There are a lot of reasons I like farmers' markets. You get to meet the people who are growing and making the food you are eating. You support your local economy, which supports you, yourself. You get fresh food, that is probably not over-processed, sprayed with nasty chemicals, or irradiated. The stuff tastes great. You get to meet people who live in your area, mingle with them, eat some food together, smile, have a chat. It gives you a feeling that you belong to something, and aren't just an individual person living in an individual apartment leading a separate life.

Anyway, we love going. It's a great experience, you get something great out of it, give something important to people in your area, and experience some community. If there's one near you, try it out sometime. Plan a recipe, and go there to get the food for it. Or, just go and pick up some stuff, and make a recipe out of what you got :)

Cheers!

More pictures...

2009-08-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more pictures of the new place - we got the keys yesterday, so we had to take a load of stuff over in the evening. Today, Trina and my mom have spent a lot of time hauling stuff over in my parents' truck, and tomorrow we're making a family effort of the final push. See you all on the other side!

We're moving!

2009-08-08T17:07:00.000-07:00

Well, in a flurry of activity, we're packing and selling things like mad, as we're moving! Here are some photos of the new place - we move in on the 20th!

If you need any furniture, or a piano, let us know :)

Stupid TV Shows

2009-07-18T12:21:00.000-07:00

So today we were watching the Create Channel on OPB, and a show came on called The Katie Brown Workshop. On this show, her emphasis was how to get your kids interested in eating fruit. So, what does she do?

First of all, she makes hollowed out lemon, with store-bought lemon sorbet inside. Secondly, she makes hollowed out oranges with boxed cake mix inside, baked, and then with store-bought frosting on top. Thirdly, and finally the only fruit that actually gets eaten, is little wooden ice-cream spoons, with a dab of a yogurt and cream cheese mixture on the end, and a piece of fruit stuck to it.

Secondly, they make creatures of fruit, put together with wooden skewers, and decorated with frosting, licorice, life savers, peppermints, etc.

Thirdly, a hollowed out orange, with wood skewers through it, string tied to them, so they it can hang and be a birdfeeder.

So, the verdict - if you want to get your kids excited about eating fruit, don't feed them fruit, feed them sorbet, cake and let them stick candies to the outside of fruit. Do it everyone! For the health of your children!

Life of Pi

2009-07-10T21:22:00.001-07:00

Just a quote I wanted to share from the book "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel:

There are always those who take it upon themselves to defend God, as if the Ultimate Reality, as if the sustaining frame of existence, were something weak and helpless. These people walk by a widow deformed by leprosy begging for a few paise, walk by children dressed in rags living in the street, and they think, "Business as usual." But if they perceive a slight against God, it is a different story. Their faces go red, their chests heave mightily, they sputter angry words. The degree of their indignation is astonishing. Their resolve is frightening.

These people fail to realize that it is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside. They should direct their anger at themselves. For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. Meanwhile, the lot of widows and homeless children is very hard, and it is to their defence, not God's, that the self-righteous should rush.

a sense of belonging

2009-07-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

I just finished the book "Flight to Arras" by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, and one of the final chapters was some really good, deep stuff. I thought I would try to summarize the main points of the chapter here and then give some of my own thoughts about it. If you'd like to read the chapter (and I hope you will, my post will probably seem more coherent if you do), you can see it here: http://docs.google.com/View?id=dfs668dz_50fzkh8hdk.

So first, a rather long summary of the chapter (up until the dotted line) -

He makes the point that we as humans are part of something that is greater than each of us individually - we are part of Man (meaning all of mankind), and this being true, we each make up a piece of a whole. There is in Man more than simply the sum of its parts. We make up more than just a group of individuals. Like a cathedral is more than simply a pile of stones, or a beautiful face more than just a nose, lips, eyes, ears, etc - we as humans make up more than just a group of individual humans.

The individuals are given meaning by this higher thing of which they are a part - not the other way around. The individual stones of a cathedral are simply stones without the art and architecture that goes into making them a part of something greater - they lose much of their meaning or significance without that which binds them together.

Each individual who makes up a part of the whole is diverse and varied, yet each is vital to the whole, just as the stones of a cathedral have different shapes, different sizes, different colors, different geological makeup - and yet they all fit together to form the cathedral. The differences are not threatening, they are enriching.

To him, the idea of setting a man free is to give him a goal and purpose, and then show him how to find his way there. To make a man thirsty, and teach him to chart a path to a well. He states that we ought to aim to set men free in order that their attitudes towards themselves and others would not be in blind conformity to the habits of their civilization, but would be free expression of love. The invisible slope of gravity liberates the stone, the invisible slope of love liberates man.

For centuries, men contemplated God in the person of man. Man was created in God's image. Men were brothers in God. Man's duty towards himself and others was evident from the fact of his relation to God.

It was because of this that men were able to be viewed as equal - they were equal in God. He states that men can only be equal in something, otherwise with no common denominator equality becomes identity, and the private refuses to salute the captain, because he is no longer doing honor to the Nation, but the individual.

He states that this is also the origin of the respect of men for one another - each man would respect each other, because what he respects in the man is not the man himself, but God. Each man was an ambassador for God, and each man therefore held an honored position as an ambassador, despite their place and role in society. Each man was given dignity and honor.

Similarly, he says that men can be brothers only in something - if there is no binding tie, men are not united, but merely grouped together.

Charity was a free gift to God through the individual. Charity never involved humiliation of the recipient, nor did it leave the recipient bound in any way, since the gift was not made to them, but to God. Meanwhile, the giver was never giving to support insignificance, brutishness or ignorance. The physician could help the thief with no moral qualms, as his gift was to something greater.

Humility, considered in light of being a part of something greater did not cast down the individual, but raised him up - it forced him to consider his proper place in relation to God and other men.

The being of which we are a part must be created within ourselves, not by words, but by acts. The essential act is sacrifice. Sacrifice is the gift of oneself to the being of which one is a part. A person will only understand what a farm is, if he has given part of himself to the farm, fought to save it and to make it beautiful.

He observes that, instead of affirming the rights of Mankind in each man, we started dealing with the rights of the collective - that is, viewing humanity as strictly a collection of humans. When this happens, he states, it makes sense that one man would sacrifice himself for the community, but it would be ridiculous for the community to sacrifice itself for one man, because preservation of the collective is of prime importance, and losing one individual makes no difference to the simple collection of individuals. This to him is a result of the loss of the idea that we are a part of something greater than ourselves.

As a part of something greater than himself, each man was responsible for all men, and all men responsible for each man. A man ought risk his life for the good of the whole, but at the same time, the whole ought risk themselves for the life of one. Liberty is the ability to grow into what you are meant to be, not simply individual license to behave as you wish, as long as you don't harm anyone else.

In his view, we as humans often now view equality simply in material terms, rather than as the result of being parts of something greater than ourselves. There is no material equality between a doctor and a flunky, an imbecile and a genius. What gave them equality has been forgotten.

He feels that we have defined liberty as a vague license given to each individual to do whatever they please so long as it doesn't harm others. But he feels that there is no isolated individual, you cannot act without involving another person. We found it impossible to define when this liberty was valid or not, and so we made a mess of society in defining it.

As for charity, he notes that when we forget we are part of something greater than ourselves, it becomes a gift to an individual, and as such establishes a hierarchy, and binds the recipient to the giver.

We ceased to give, and in doing so, we received nothing, and we built nothing of which we were a part, nothing for which one would sacrifice.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, now that I've already written a huge post summarizing the chapter, I'd like to write some of my own thoughts on some of the ideas presented here.

Much of this resonates with me in terms of why I feel so out of place in America. I feel like in American society, perhaps more than anywhere else in the world, we have forgotten that there is anything greater than ourselves that we belong to, and we therefore tend to treat everyone as individuals, completely on their own in a collective of individuals. Our entire society is set up that way, from the legal system to the social values people hold to the form of government.

If a person has some misfortune or makes a mistake, they are often left alone to deal with the consequences. If a person has success in life, they are often left alone to enjoy the fruits of that success (unless they decide to give some of it to charity, after which they expect gratitude). Of course there are exceptions, but as a whole our society is set up so that every individual is absolved of responsibility for every other individual.

Many people are afraid of diversity because they have no common denominator to show them who they are in relation to other people - like you might react to an unknown creature you have never seen or heard of before - and put them in categories and label them all kinds of different things, because there isn't a unifying common denominator to bring us together - so we label in order to separate, to move aside, to dismiss, to avoid (amongst other things). When we forget that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves, we start to lose the idea of equality in a true sense, where every human has equal honor and dignity as a piece of the whole, and equality begins to mean identity - we only see someone as equal to us if they are the same as us. Because of this we are able to hold ourselves above others who are not like us, and we lose respect for those who are not the same.

When we come together, it is largely in separate groups of interests, fads, cliques, fashions, etc. We can fit in to those groups based on some criteria, but there is nothing to belong to.

And that, I think, is the crux of the feeling of disconnection I feel here in America - I often feel as though there is nothing to belong to here, because you cannot belong to a mass of individuals, you can only fit in somewhere. You cannot be brothers in nothing. Many people cling to political parties because it gives them a semblance of something to belong to; to what passes as church and religion because it gives them a semblance of something to belong to; to class status, high or low, because it gives them a semblance of something to belong to. But much of that is simply more groups based on some criteria that we either do or don't fit into, and does little to nothing in the way of teaching us about what we really belong to.

I long to live in a society that expects something of me, that expects and believes in a common humanity, a common respect, a real equality, and maybe most importantly a responsibility towards each other. I long to live in a society where it is understood that the welfare of each member of society is vital to the welfare of the society. I long to live in a society where the members recognize that their actions effect other people, where they recognize they make a difference, for good or bad, and because of that, they have a responsibility for the people around them. I long to live in a society where the right to be dependent upon each other is a privilege and not a burden.

I don't know if such a place exists, but this is what I wish for, and what I don't see around me. There are a few who I see from time to time who share this view, but the sheer weight of absolute independence here is crushing.

sourdough

2009-06-25T20:30:00.001-07:00

We're trying our hand at sourdough bread. It's a several day process, so we'll let you know if it turned out sometime next week. Cheers! :)

personal

2009-06-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

I think one of the most wonderful things about God is how He is so personal, and I can relate to Him in whatever way is meaningful to me. I can pray in the way that my soul prays, and that ability makes Him feel close. I don't have to pray a set prayer, or recite the right words, or perform the right rituals, or even say or think words at all, necessarily.

I believe the Bible when it says: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

So, I also believe that if anyone seeks to find God, they will.

How they express what they find could look very different than how you express what you find when you see God. That doesn't mean that God changes, simply that humanity is diverse and each person expresses what they experience in very diverse ways. For instance, two painters might both paint the same sunflower, and the end results could be vastly different based on how each painter sees the world and expresses what they experience. Two people could read the same paragraph of a book, and come away with very different ideas about the emphasis of meaning. Also, everyone's perception is imperfect, and that comes out in how we think and talk about things we experience. We all are struck by different qualities and characteristics of God, and we bring what we experience to the benefit of all humanity, by offering a unique and meaningful perspective of who God is.

Ok, that's all for today. Cheers!

laughing with - regina spektor

2009-06-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
When it’s gotten real late
And their kid’s not back from the party yet

No one laughs at God
When their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love, hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they’re mistaken

No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news, sir
No one’s laughing at God
When there’s a famine or fire or flood

*Chorus*
But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke

God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’ve lost all they’ve got
And they don’t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize
That the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one’s laughing at God when they’re saying their goodbyes

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke

God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughing at God in hospital
No one’s laughing at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
We’re all laughing with God

New (Old) Raleigh Sport

2009-05-31T14:13:00.001-07:00

So, as a bit of an early birthday present for me (really early, thank you my dearest love!), we just today bought this gorgeous 1952 Raleigh Superbe. It came up on Craigslist yesterday (I subscribed to a search for Raleigh), and it looked so amazing we had to go look at it. It has the original Sturmey Archer 4-speed internal rear hub in, and it still works fine. It has the original front dynamo hub as well, though he wasn't sure if it still works, as he'd never had a light attached. He had the wheels rebuilt around the original hubs with alloy rims and put some nice Schwalbe Marathon tires on it, as well as new brake pads. It has the original Brooks saddle, which is a bit worn out, but isn't uncomfortable and has a nice squeak to it :) The bike itself feels really solid, and I'm amazed at what good shape it's in, being nearly 60 years old. This one has found a very happy, loving home, and hopefully it will still be in use after another 60 years. I would love to see that. Ok, enough jabber, here are the pictures:

Edit: I forgot to mention, we saw this ad recently in a 1950's National Geographic Magazine we have, and I remarked "too bad they don't make those anymore." Now I own one :)

random thoughts

2009-05-27T19:57:00.000-07:00

I think it would be interesting to do an anthropological study on the effects of language on certain facial characteristics.

I've wondered before if the different requirements of different languages might cause certain facial characteristics in people who speak that language - for instance, lip shape or jaw musculature.

If anybody has done this, please let me know, I'd be interested to hear what you found.

Cheers!

Blog trolls

2009-05-27T11:06:00.000-07:00

I don't understand why blog trolls (people who read blogs and wait around to make incendiary comments at the right moments) seem to be so prevalent. Do people really not have anything better to do than subscribe to blogs whose authors they disagree with and then just wait until the author mentions the right thing to fly off the handle with angry/derogatory comments? I really don't understand this phenomenon, and I see it happening so often. If you really disagree with someone that much, you can stop reading their blog. If you actually have something constructive to say, then say it and spare everyone the ranting. Really people, you have to be able to find *something* better to waste your time at.

St. Vincent

2009-05-22T20:02:00.000-07:00

We just got tickets to go see St. Vincent on Monday at the Aladdin Theater! Here's a video for you all:

Summery Sunday

2009-05-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

Sunday I woke up early and rode down to New Seasons to get some bacon, cream and a couple of other things, then came back and whipped up some breakfast for us all, coffee, more bread and jam and cheese, and we lazed around the house for a while. Tori had a meeting to go to, so she took off for a while, and we ran out to do a couple of errands. Theresa came over and we hung out a bit, then Tori came back, and we rode our bikes over to Pix Patisserie for a nip of amazing ice cream and some fruit jellies.

When we came home, I had a note saying my bike was ready to pick up at Clever Cycles, so I rode the loaner down there and swapped. Came back and said goodbye to Tori, who was heading back down to Corvallis, and then went to New Seasons to pick up groceries for dinner.

We made a delicious pasta with chard, carrots, celery, spring onions (from our garden), leek, tarragon and chicken. Our friend Tiana came over to share it with us, and we ended up talking until 1.30 in the morning. It was a wonderful way to end a pretty fantastic weekend.

Summery Saturday

2009-05-17T13:43:00.000-07:00

Our friend Tori is up for the weekend, so we decided to make it a good one. She was coming up in the morning on Saturday, so Trina and I got up early and made breakfast - coffee (of course), baked eggs with chives from our garden, bread and good creamy cheese and strawberry jam, and fresh strawberries.

From there, we hopped on the bikes and rode our way down to the Saturday Market, which had its opening in the new facilities that have been under construction. They aren't quite finished yet, but the main part where the vendors sit is finished.

On the way home, we stopped at New Seasons and picked up some bread, cheese, meat, and wine for an afternoon picnic:

We laid out a blanket by our garden and ate and drank and laid in the shade, and Trina worked on some knitting.

Finally, we came in, and I shaved to refresh myself a bit, and then we all got ready for dinner, which we had at Nuestra Cocina, one of the very best restaurants in Portland. We had carne asada, pork chops, and pan-seared halibut, and they were all amazing.

Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend!

What up?

2009-05-12T11:39:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went to the Portland Farmers' Market and got some interesting and (for us) unusual things, like wild leeks, green garlic, fiddlehead ferns, and sea beans.

Last night we cooked some tasty pasta with wild leeks and green garlic, and it came out really well.

Also last night, I went over to Michael and Dara's and Michael walked me through building a bicycle wheel. That was really interesting, and I'm glad I had the chance to do it.

Happy Tuesday everyone, see you soon!

fear

2009-05-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

If I could give one adjective that I felt described American culture, it would be fearful. We are afraid of everything. I'm not joking. We're afraid of our cars, our bikes, our recliners, our stairs, our food, our water, our air, we're afraid that we'll die, we're afraid that we'll get sick, we're afraid that everything around us might be toxic, poisoned, heat seeking head missiles, or waiting to squash us. The weird thing is the "solutions" we sometimes come up with to quell our fears.

The latest thing I've heard talk about is food irradiation. That is, exposing food products to radiation to kill off bacteria, insects, etc. I've been well aware that Americans are deathly afraid of bacteria and viruses for a long while now. The recent swine flu pandemic is a great example. What is just a different strain of the flu gets caught by 150 people and suddenly the world is about to end (by the way, normal everyday flu kills about 3,500 people in the U.S. every year). We are so obsessed with killing bacteria and viruses in everything that we touch, that we are not only more than willing to use dangerous chemicals in order to do so, we severely harm our immune systems by never giving them a chance to fight off disease, and then when we are exposed to something, we get severely ill, when a healthy immune system would have barely noticed.

Now, apparently, we are willing to expose our food to radiation, potentially change it's molecular structure, and then eat it like it's just what nature intended. Sorry, no thanks. I'm perfectly happy with my food just the way it comes. Somehow, I think the survival of the human race will continue, and probably with better health, if we stop all this nonsense. Not that I expect it to stop.

First of all, if your food has enough bacteria, virus, etc in it to be really harmful to you, there is something more fundamental that needs taking care of than simply exposing it to radiation.

Secondly, if you are potentially changing the DNA structure of the food you are exposing to radiation, how do you know your body is going to digest it in the same way as the un-modified version? Even if it's not harmful, it may very well change the food's nutritional value, and you may not end up getting the same benefits from foods that you would otherwise.

Thirdly, I work at a Dental School. The radiologists are very careful about how much radiation exposure they give a patient, even though a typical dental x-ray is giving a pretty minimal dose of radiation to the patient. This is because radiation has been shown to have harmful effects on us. The levels of radiation, from what I can find, that food is exposed to in food irradiation is many times higher than that which you are exposed to for a typical x-ray at the dentist/doctor. The units for medical radiation are typically measured in rads, the radiation for food in grays. Apparently a gray is about 100 rad. During a dental x-ray, you are exposed to about 2-3 millirads (technically millirems, but specifically with x-ray radiation, apparently they are nearly equal). Food, even for the lowest dose purposes, is exposed to 150 grays. That's a pretty significant difference in the level of radiation, unless I'm severely misunderstanding something.

Ok people. Look. You don't have that much to fear from your food. People have been eating it for a VERY LONG TIME, and believe it or not, the human race is still going. We haven't died out yet. You don't need to treat your food with radiation, chemicals, genetic modification. You don't need to scrub your environment clean of all bacteria. It won't hurt you to eat a little bit of dirt with your vegetables, and it won't hurt you to eat a fruit fly here and there either.

Can we stop being afraid of life for a while and just live? Is that really too much to ask?

Terrific 10 Foods

2009-05-03T12:29:00.001-07:00

We just saw this article in our Bon Appetit magazine from this month, and it was really good, so I posted it over at our food blog. We're also hopefully going to do a series of recipes featuring the items in the list, so stay tuned :) Cheers!

Spring Wardrobe

2009-05-02T20:47:00.000-07:00

In springtime we like to do a bit of shopping to refresh our wardrobes (we also go through and clean out our closets and get rid of things we haven't been wearing, are worn out, or don't fit us any longer). Today we went by Bombshell Vintage over on E Burnside, and I found this fantastic three piece grey wool pinstriped suit from Hart, Schaffner and Marx, originally made for Liemandts in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

I also got this tie, to go with my other suit.

Happy Spring, all!

first produce of the year

2009-05-02T19:26:00.001-07:00

We just picked the first produce of the year from our garden (besides herbs, which we've used quite a bit already), spring onions! We're making some Thai panang curry with it tonight, with potatoes and cauliflower. Cheers!

allergies...

2009-05-01T11:36:00.001-07:00

it's official, something that started blooming today has it out for me.

Funniest things

2009-04-30T21:19:00.001-07:00

I think this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I don't know why exactly it strikes me so much, but there you go. Hope you enjoy it too :)

A greyscale day

2009-04-30T12:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it was a bit dreary as I was coming in to work, and it just seemed to really suit some blanc et noir photography, so I snapped these photos down on the waterfront. Enjoy!

Society, celebrity, and not thinking for ourselves.

2009-04-29T21:27:00.000-07:00

Due to a couple of things I've read or heard about recently, I've been thinking about celebrity and why it is we in America have such a weird, voyeuristic interest in celebrities, and also why we have such a desire to insert ourselves into what we perceive their lives to be like.

I think in many ways in American culture, we are not encouraged to think for ourselves, and in fact, we are encouraged not to think for ourselves. This happens in politics, as we are told to simply "vote Democrat" or "vote Republican" with the implication that anything/anyone from that party is good, and anything/anyone from any of the other parties is inherently bad.

This happens in religion. Among Christian circles, for instance, things are grouped into "Christian" and "secular" and then one group is blindly accepted and the other blindly rejected.

Our country has a great desire to be focused on automobiles as the primary form of transportation. So, when a bunch of people want to ride bicycles instead, rather than actually looking carefully at how to make it safe and convenient to do so, we paint the picture as if cycling is highly dangerous, only athletes would do it, and we start telling people to just wear a helmet and you'll be fine. This propaganda has gone so far as to cause many people to use leg injuries in cyclists as a reason for wearing a helmet, media outlets to emphatically state, when reporting on bicycle/car collisions that a cyclist wasn't wearing a helmet even if the cyclist wasn't injured or suffered only non-head injuries, and even doctors to exclaim that a helmet saved someone's life when all of their injuries were to the face. You're not supposed to think about it, you're just supposed to wear a helmet. You tell me how that makes sense.

All of this kind of behavior (these are just a few examples) is encouraged, we are told that it is the appropriate thing to do, that it is perfectly fine and right to do so. I think this leads to a society where we make mass generalizations based on labels, we judge large groups of people wrongly based on preconceived notions and assumptions. We feel perfectly comfortable, for instance, calling someone a "liberal" based on a particular view, and then simply laying out every other belief the person must hold, because surely all "liberals" believe the same things. It happens both ways, and all over the place in American society. We use these mass generalizations as excuses to not actually deal with issues, to not think carefully about things, to not really address problems.

So, how does this fit into celebrity? In a society where we are encouraged to live on the surface of life and not dig deeper, we begin to see that as actual life, we think that's all there is. We are trained not to think and make decisions for ourselves, to look into who we are and what we feel we need to do with our lives - we just pick the paths that are accepted because they are accepted and play along for our whole lives. So to me, it's no big surprise that we have this obsession with celebrity. They are people who, on the surface, look healthy, happy, successful (based on the definition of success floated about by society) - we are happy to accept that at face value (in fact, we do it without even thinking about it), and then wish we could simply step into that idea of their lives - as it would save us the trouble of having to figure our own lives out. Worst of all, it doesn't seem at all unusual, because this is just how life goes here. It's become so usual we don't even think about it anymore.

So there you have it. Just some of my thoughts on the subject, musings and such. Feel free to comment if you have any other thoughts on the subject. Cheers!

if the world were ending...

2009-04-25T15:58:00.000-07:00

"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree." -Martin Luther King Jr.

A bit of a shameless plug... can you blame me? :)

2009-04-23T11:12:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not entirely a shameless plug, because I've really been interested in checking out the Madsen cargo bike since I saw a while ago that the Bike Gallery in Portland was going to be the first retail shop carrying them. Anyway, they're having a drawing for people who link to them, to win a free bike. So, everyone go click on the link, and if I win one, I'll post a good review of them on Portlandize with lots of good pictures :D

Why I like Portland

2009-04-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

There are a number of reasons I think Portland is an amazing city, particular for the United States. Recently, they have just put out a draft Climate Action plan which addresses a number of issues, with the goal of reducing carbon emissions in Portland by 80% by the year 2050.

The specific goals of the plan focus on 8 target areas of energy usage: Buildings and Energy, Land Use and Mobility, Consumption and Solid Waste, Urban Forestry, Food and Agriculture, Community Engagement, Climate Change Preparation, and Local Government Operations. Amongst a lot of great things like new building requirements for energy efficiency, incentives to update existing buildings, converting public buildings, infrastructure and services to more energy-efficient technologies, and promoting electric and plug-in hybrid vehicles, here are a few of the things that really struck my fancy from the plan.

For each type of urban neighborhood, identify the land use planning changes, infrastructure investments, including public-private partnerships that are needed to achieve a highly walkable neighborhood and develop an implementation action plan.
Together with Metro and TriMet, develop a joint funding schedule for infrastructure improvements such as sidewalks and improved access to destinations beyond a reasonable walking distance.
Identify the steps necessary to create a world-class bicycle system throughout Portland and Multnomah County.
Fund the first tier of improvements identified in the City of Portland Bicycle Master Plan and adopt a schedule of funding to address subsequent improvements.
Implement appropriate pricing mechanisms on driving such as congestion pricing, tolls and parking pricing and direct these funds to infrastructure for non-automobile transportation modes and programs to promote their use.
Encourage businesses and residents to purchase new and reused goods with minimal packaging that are durable, repairable and reusable.
Complete the implementation of mandatory commercial food waste collection in Portland and begin collection of residential food waste.
Provide weekly curbside collection of food waste, other compostable materials and recycling. Shift residential garbage collection to every other week.
Acquire, restore and protect open spaces to promote functional forest ecosystems with high potential to sequester carbon dioxide.
Recognize trees as a capital asset to City and County infrastructure.
Establish joint City-County institutional capacity to support the development of a strong local food system. Provide policy direction and resources to significantly increase the percentage of home-grown and locally-sourced food.
Increase the viability of farmers’ markets, community gardens, community-supported agriculture farms and home-grown food through qualitative goals. Integrate these goals into all planning processes.
Provide educational opportunities for residents that will enable them to grow fruit and vegetables at their place of residence and in cooperation with their neighbors.
Encourage the use of public and private urban land and rooftops for growing food and remove obstacles to local food production.
Create 1,300 new community garden plots.

Particularly the transportation and food-related bits get me really excited. Not only are those things I'm particularly interested in myself, but I think they will encourage people to really think about consuming less, and about changing what they consume. It's incredibly exciting to me to think about a network of community gardens throughout the urban boundary of Portland producing fruits and vegetables for the neighborhoods they are located in, greatly reducing the amount that has to be shipped in, as well as giving people a closer connection to their food - and encouraging them to cook more often, spending more time at home, and again having a closer connection to their food. It's exciting to me to see the possibility of some real limits being put on car travel, to reduce the unnecessary usage of automobiles within the city. It's exciting to me to see the planning of neighborhoods as a community unit, with all daily needs arranged within feasible walking distance. This will encourage non-automobile transportation, community focus, and just allow people to spend less time traveling to the places they go on a daily basis.

Imagine neighborhoods in Portland where only 10% of daily trips are by car, where the neighborhood worked together to cultivate a community garden (or several) that supplied a significant part of the produce used in the neighborhood - or perhaps had small gardens themselves and pooled produce, and perhaps even chickens for eggs and eventually meat (since that's legal within Portland city limits). In this neighborhood would be at least one park, a school, a grocery store, perhaps a food co-op, retail shops, a mix of houses and apartments, a bakery, a coffee shop, a movie theater, a brewery (or two), restaurants, some specialty businesses, etc - all within easy walking distance.

That physical description isn't too far off from many already-existing neighborhoods in inner SE/NE Portland, now we just need to get the parts that encourage transportation and community changes down.

Anyway, the potential of this plan to really significantly change the city is exciting to me. Have a happy, sunny Tuesday, Portland! (and elsewhere, too)

Noris Dairy

2009-04-19T22:50:00.000-07:00

We just started getting Milk, Yogurt, Butter and Cream delivered from Noris Dairy, which is down between Salem and Eugene. We've had their milk and cream before, as New Seasons used to carry it, and we loved it. The milk is pasteurized (not ultra-pasteurized), and non-homogenized, so it has cream on top and you have to shake it. It is exceptionally tasty, comes in glass bottles and has really spoiled us for most other dairy products. The butter we had never had before, but we used it for cooking recently, and I just happened to try a little bite on its own, and it was absolutely delicious. They also have chocolate milk, which we have added to our weekly order as a bit of a treat for ourselves :)

It's so nice to have it delivered every week, and it will be nice for us to be able to just plan that as our dairy intake for a week.

Cheers, and best wishes for a wonderful week!

a good start to the weekend

2009-04-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

So far we've had a great start to our weekend. Friday night, we went to our friend Lauren's birthday part out at the Night Light Lounge, and had a nice time chatting and people-watching.

The Filmed by Bike opening night at the Clinton Theater was going on, and they had the entire block from 26th to 25th blocked off to all traffic, full of bike parking, with a beer garden and food. We didn't go, but we did happen to ride by it:

Yesterday morning we woke up pretty late, had a little bit of breakfast, and I walked over to Clever Cycles to pick up a nut I needed. I walked back and met Trina at New Seasons, and we picked up some groceries, headed home, and then rode our bikes over to Division Street, to Village Merchants. We poked around there for a bit, then got some tacos for lunch from the next-door taco cart:

We then followed the tacos with a waffle with strawberries and cream from the waffle cart down a block:

We never knew it was there, but I saw it in the morning on my way to Clever Cycles, and wrote Trina about it, so we decided to try it out. It turns out, the waffles were delicious.

From there, we headed down to New Seasons again, and picked up some seeds and flowers to plant in our front flower garden, and our vegetable garden. The flowers looked especially pretty in Trina's basket:

We came back home, and I gave the bikes a bit of a spring cleaning while Trina started on planting things. Søren especially was pretty grungy from riding all winter.

Here are a few pictures of some of the stuff we have growing in our flower/herb garden:

After we got the new stuff planted, we cleaned off our outdoor chairs, plopped down in the grass, and read for a while. We brought Teagan out with us on his leash, and he enjoyed being able to explore a bit:

We tried to bring Piccoli out too, but she nearly killed all of us trying to get back in the door again, so we decided to leave her inside :)

Our neighbor Kathy came by, and we chatted for a while, then Theresa came by, and we asked her if she'd want to ride over to the taco cart with us later for dinner (we liked it so much we were going to go back). She said yeah, so we just sat out and read some more. Eventually Theresa came out with her bike, and we toodled over to the taco cart.

We got there, and noticed that we had an hour until they closed, so we decided to look at Village Merchants really quickly. Theresa found a great dress that she bought, and then we went back over to the taco cart, which apparently had decided to close early, and was closed :(

So, we decided to ride to New Seasons, and we got a Vietnamese banh mi baguette sandwich they have on special this week, which was really tasty.

We came back home, and were realizing that Theresa didn't have a bell on her bike, so we donated one we had sitting in our basement, and I put it on for her. Then we just sat in the grass for a while as the light faded and it started getting cooler out and chatted for a while. Finally, we parted ways and Trina and I came back inside - she doing some shopping for yarn and fabric, and me playing video games :)

All in all, a great start to the weekend. In store for today - more gardening, washing dishes, laundry, and haircuts!

Happy weekend!

bleak house - charles dickens

2009-04-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

Setting: Mrs. Pardiggle is taking Ada and Esther along to the brickmaker's house on her "charitable work". The story is being told from Esther's point of view.

I thought this passage brings up a number of points worth thinking about. Hope you enjoy!

Mrs. Pardiggle, leading the way with a great show of moral determination and talking with much volubility about the untidy habits of the people (though I doubted if the best of us could have been tidy in such a place), conducted us into a cottage at the farthest corner, the ground-floor room of which we nearly filled. Besides ourselves, there were in this damp, offensive room a woman with a black eye, nursing a poor little gasping baby by the fire; a man, all stained with clay and mud and looking very dissipated, lying at full length on the ground, smoking a pipe; a powerful young man fastening a collar on a dog; and a bold girl doing some kind of washing in very dirty water. They all looked up at us as we came in, and the woman seemed to turn her face towards the fire as if to hide her bruised eye; nobody gave us any welcome.

"Well, my friends," said Mrs. Pardiggle, but her voice had not a friendly sound, I thought; it was much too business-like and systematic. "How do you do, all of you? I am here again. I told you, you couldn't tire me, you know. I am fond of hard work, and am true to my word."

"There an't," growled the man on the floor, whose head rested on his hand as he stared at us, "any more on you to come in, is there?"

"No, my friend," said Mrs. Pardiggle, seating herself on one stool and knocking down another. "We are all here."

"Because I thought there warn't enough of you, perhaps?" said the man, with his pipe between his lips as he looked round upon us.

The young man and the girl both laughed. Two friends of the young man, whom we had attracted to the doorway and who stood there with their hands in their pockets, echoed the laugh noisily.

"You can't tire me, good people," said Mrs. Pardiggle to these latter. "I enjoy hard work, and the harder you make mine, the better I like it."

"Then make it easy for her!" growled the man upon the floor. "I wants it done, and over. I wants a end of these liberties took with my place. I wants an end of being drawed like a badger. Now you're a-going to poll-pry and question according to custom--I know what you're a-going to be up to. Well! You haven't got no occasion to be up to it. I'll save you the trouble. Is my daughter a-washin? Yes, she IS a-washin. Look at the water. Smell it! That's wot we drinks. How do you like it, and what do you think of gin instead! An't my place dirty? Yes, it is dirty-- it's nat'rally dirty, and it's nat'rally onwholesome; and we've had five dirty and onwholesome children, as is all dead infants, and so much the better for them, and for us besides. Have I read the little book wot you left? No, I an't read the little book wot you left. There an't nobody here as knows how to read it; and if there wos, it wouldn't be suitable to me. It's a book fit for a babby, and I'm not a babby. If you was to leave me a doll, I shouldn't nuss it. How have I been conducting of myself? Why, I've been drunk for three days; and I'da been drunk four if I'da had the money. Don't I never mean for to go to church? No, I don't never mean for to go to church. I shouldn't be expected there, if I did; the beadle's too gen-teel for me. And how did my wife get that black eye? Why, I give it her; and if she says I didn't, she's a lie!"

He had pulled his pipe out of his mouth to say all this, and he now turned over on his other side and smoked again. Mrs. Pardiggle, who had been regarding him through her spectacles with a forcible composure, calculated, I could not help thinking, to increase his antagonism, pulled out a good book as if it were a constable's staff and took the whole family into custody. I mean into religious custody, of course; but she really did it as if she were an inexorable moral policeman carrying them all off to a station-house.

Ada and I were very uncomfortable. We both felt intrusive and out of place, and we both thought that Mrs. Pardiggle would have got on infinitely better if she had not had such a mechanical way of taking possession of people. The children sulked and stared; the family took no notice of us whatever, except when the young man made the dog bark, which he usually did when Mrs. Pardiggle was most emphatic. We both felt painfully sensible that between us and these people there was an iron barrier which could not be removed by our new friend. By whom or how it could be removed, we did not know, but we knew that. Even what she read and said seemed to us to be ill-chosen for such auditors, if it had been imparted ever so modestly and with ever so much tact. As to the little book to which the man on the floor had referred, we acquired a knowledge of it afterwards, and Mr. Jarndyce said he doubted if Robinson Crusoe could have read it, though he had had no other on his desolate island.

We were much relieved, under these circumstances, when Mrs. Pardiggle left off.

The man on the floor, then turning his head round again, said morosely, "Well! You've done, have you?"

"For to-day, I have, my friend. But I am never fatigued. I shall come to you again in your regular order," returned Mrs. Pardiggle with demonstrative cheerfulness.

"So long as you goes now," said he, folding his arms and shutting his eyes with an oath, "you may do wot you like!"

Mrs. Pardiggle accordingly rose and made a little vortex in the confined room from which the pipe itself very narrowly escaped. Taking one of her young family in each hand, and telling the others to follow closely, and expressing her hope that the brickmaker and all his house would be improved when she saw them next, she then proceeded to another cottage. I hope it is not unkind in me to say that she certainly did make, in this as in everything else, a show that was not conciliatory of doing charity by wholesale and of dealing in it to a large extent.

She supposed that we were following her, but as soon as the space was left clear, we approached the woman sitting by the fire to ask if the baby were ill.

She only looked at it as it lay on her lap. We had observed before that when she looked at it she covered her discoloured eye with her hand, as though she wished to separate any association with noise and violence and ill treatment from the poor little child.

Ada, whose gentle heart was moved by its appearance, bent down to touch its little face. As she did so, I saw what happened and drew her back. The child died.

"Oh, Esther!" cried Ada, sinking on her knees beside it. "Look here! Oh, Esther, my love, the little thing! The suffering, quiet, pretty little thing! I am so sorry for it. I am so sorry for the mother. I never saw a sight so pitiful as this before! Oh, baby, baby!"

Such compassion, such gentleness, as that with which she bent down weeping and put her hand upon the mother's might have softened any mother's heart that ever beat. The woman at first gazed at her in astonishment and then burst into tears.

Presently I took the light burden from her lap, did what I could to make the baby's rest the prettier and gentler, laid it on a shelf, and covered it with my own handkerchief. We tried to comfort the mother, and we whispered to her what Our Saviour said of children. She answered nothing, but sat weeping--weeping very much.

When I turned, I found that the young man had taken out the dog and was standing at the door looking in upon us with dry eyes, but quiet. The girl was quiet too and sat in a corner looking on the ground. The man had risen. He still smoked his pipe with an air of defiance, but he was silent.

An ugly woman, very poorly clothed, hurried in while I was glancing at them, and coming straight up to the mother, said, "Jenny! Jenny!" The mother rose on being so addressed and fell upon the
woman's neck.

She also had upon her face and arms the marks of ill usage. She had no kind of grace about her, but the grace of sympathy; but when she condoled with the woman, and her own tears fell, she wanted no beauty. I say condoled, but her only words were "Jenny! Jenny!" All the rest was in the tone in which she said them.

I thought it very touching to see these two women, coarse and shabby and beaten, so united; to see what they could be to one another; to see how they felt for one another, how the heart of each to each was softened by the hard trials of their lives. I think the best side of such people is almost hidden from us. What the poor are to the poor is little known, excepting to themselves and God.

We felt it better to withdraw and leave them uninterrupted. We stole out quietly and without notice from any one except the man. He was leaning against the wall near the door, and finding that there was scarcely room for us to pass, went out before us. He seemed to want to hide that he did this on our account, but we perceived that he did, and thanked him. He made no answer.

Ada was so full of grief all the way home, and Richard, whom we found at home, was so distressed to see her in tears (though he said to me, when she was not present, how beautiful it was too!),
that we arranged to return at night with some little comforts and repeat our visit at the brick-maker's house. We said as little as we could to Mr. Jarndyce, but the wind changed directly.

Richard accompanied us at night to the scene of our morning expedition. On our way there, we had to pass a noisy drinking-house, where a number of men were flocking about the door. Among them, and prominent in some dispute, was the father of the little child. At a short distance, we passed the young man and the dog, in congenial company. The sister was standing laughing and talking with some other young women at the corner of the row of cottages, but she seemed ashamed and turned away as we went by.

We left our escort within sight of the brickmaker's dwelling and proceeded by ourselves. When we came to the door, we found the woman who had brought such consolation with her standing there looking anxiously out.

"It's you, young ladies, is it?" she said in a whisper. "I'm a-watching for my master. My heart's in my mouth. If he was to catch me away from home, he'd pretty near murder me."

"Do you mean your husband?" said I.

"Yes, miss, my master. Jenny's asleep, quite worn out. She's scarcely had the child off her lap, poor thing, these seven days and nights, except when I've been able to take it for a minute or two."

As she gave way for us, she went softly in and put what we had brought near the miserable bed on which the mother slept. No effort had been made to clean the room--it seemed in its nature almost hopeless of being clean; but the small waxen form from which so much solemnity diffused itself had been composed afresh, and washed, and neatly dressed in some fragments of white linen; and on my handkerchief, which still covered the poor baby, a little bunch of sweet herbs had been laid by the same rough, scarred hands, so lightly, so tenderly!

"May heaven reward you!" we said to her. "You are a good woman."

what makes it feel like spring?

2009-04-09T11:22:00.000-07:00

Well, first of all, there's the sunshine, the people outdoors, and the cherry trees blooming :) See my post at Portlandize for more details about our weekend trip to Saturday Market.

Over the weekend we also got our first new plants of the season, which consisted of thyme, chives, dill, some geraniums, and some nasturtiums.

Monday we moved a few things from our garden area that had started sprouting again (more chives, and some oregano) over to our flower garden in front of our house, so they will be more accessible.

I'm excited to be getting outside more for non-transportation purposes, I'm excited to see more growing things, and to be growing more things, I'm excited to dig in the dirt with my fingers and cook again with things we've grown.

Theresa did some weeding in our main garden area on Monday, and we're going to talk soon about what all we want to plant in there this year. I'll post some photos of our front flower garden soon, and the vegetable garden once we actually plant some stuff :)

Cheers and best wishes all! Happy spring!

spring is here!

2009-04-05T14:51:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the first really nice weather we've had so far this year, and today Trina and I took advantage of it and rode our bikes down to the saturday market and then a bit further up along the waterfront. I'll be piecing together some video and pictures, I'll post them here once they're up :) Happy spring everyone!

Happy Spring!

2009-03-23T11:45:00.001-07:00

fear...

2009-03-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

I think it's highly likely that anybody trying to persuade another person by means of fear probably has some kind of deep ulterior motive for changing the person's mind. Remember that next time someone tries it on you.

things that make you go... WTF?!?

2009-03-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

Wives and Daughters

2009-03-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

'I do try to say, God's will be done, sir,' said the squire, looking up at Mr. Gibson for the first time, and speaking with more life in his voice; 'but it is harder to be resigned than happy people think.'

daylight changing

2009-03-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

The only problem with the daylight getting longer, is that pretty soon I'm not going to be able to catch the sunrise on my way in to work in the morning.

thoughts to end the evening...

2009-03-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

obscurity is under-rated.
so is love.
sleep, however, is not :)
goodnight!

yup, it snowed today

2009-03-09T10:37:00.001-07:00

Snow in Portland in March? Yeah...

John Lennon

2009-03-06T21:40:00.001-08:00

"It's like, for peace or anything, it's all down to this relationship. To work on this relationship with Yoko is very hard, and we've got the gift of love. But love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard, or just think it's gonna get on with itself. You gotta keep watering it. You've got to really look after it, and be careful of it, and keep the flies off and see that it's alright, and nurture it. And to get a relationship between two people is a start. And then if we two can make it, maybe we can make it with you. And from maybe us four-- you and yours-- we can make it with the next four. It's only that. There's no sort of ANSWER."

Fathoms of fluffy fog (an example of alliteration) :)

2009-03-06T16:41:00.000-08:00

This morning we had some crazy fog in Portland. Going up the tram it looked like we were flying up above the actual clouds, it was so thick. I love fog, it's one of my favorite weather conditions :) Here are a few pictures I took on my way in to work.

In other news, it appears that Whole Foods "will divest 19 former Wild Oats stores that were closed, 12 operating Wild Oats stores, one operating Whole Foods store, and Wild Oats' trademarks and other intellectual property" to settle a government antitrust lawsuit against them regarding the shady acquisition of Wild Oats and circumstances surrounding.

Yay for businesses that actually carry out *legal* business practices.

new U2

2009-03-02T15:55:00.000-08:00

The album comes out tomorrow, but you can listen to it today at their website. These are lyrics from one of the new songs. Cheers!

Stand up, this is comedy
The DNA lotto may have left you smart
But can you stand up to beauty
Dictator of the heart
I can stand up for hope, faith, love
But while I’m getting over certainty
Stop helping God across the road like a little old lady

the little prince

2009-02-19T16:20:00.000-08:00

"Only the children know what they are looking for," said the little prince. "They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry..."

"They are lucky," the switchman said.